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Platypushover

Platypushover

Lv15

I am an aspiring writer, hoping my work is appreciated.

2021-06-25 JoinedPoland
-d

Writing

868.1h

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361

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15

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13
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover3mth
    Replied to Platypushover

    Well, all the spaces between paragraphs dissapeared.I am not crazy enough to write something like this.

    altalt
    Born in Blood
    Fantasy · CovidCandy
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover3mth
    Posted

    There may be some spoiler below, so read at your own risk. I have read abou 50-60 chapters, so that's what i feel about the start of the story. Somone may argue that bad start doesn't cross out a good story, but let's be real, Its a paid platform, so the start should be the best part. You can't expect people to read 100 or so paid chapters to reach good part. (Btw, i read during free trail)Now, here is where the acuall review start.The characters feel force, without a soul. The Mc is supposed to be a reincarnated soul, who lived a life of misery, but feels like he just came back from ponyland. He follows a Guard to sneak bahind him somewhere, and when the Guard in questions discovers him, Mc asks the Guard to reach him how to cultivate. Like, who would do that??? Its like going to private lawyer and asking for free tutelage, somone may agree, (probably a psychol, or a human trafficer) but most would just laugh at him. And the Mc i bound to know such things, yet he does so.The Guard, the first person Mc asks for knowledge. And later mc's master. Not only does he agree to teach Mc, only after some stupid pain test. He spends whole day going around nad showing different things to his new pupil. Like he doesn't have a life. Also, the master and student relationship between the two feels forced and hasted, they joke with each other like they are old friends at most 3 chapters after they met for the first time.The Mother, she is portrayed as somone deeply caring about her son, she even gives him her food when he devours his own. (which btw is a dick move, to make your own Mother starve, to the Point where Mc sees she is much thinner then before) lets get back to the topic, she is supposed to care about Mc, yet when he dissapers for whole days she is not worried in the slightest. (i might have missed that, though i doubt that) (also, he is 10 yo at the time) Also, from what i under stand, she sits on her butt all day, waiting for the money mc's dad sends, then buy books (unnessesary, especialy that she thoight her newborn son will just play with them, not read the) and then complain about having not enought no eat??!!I get that there are some People like that at the moment, in the real world. But in the medival times no one was so delusional, especialy without family heritage, born in poverty. Such People learned early how to earn a living, otherwise, they just died.Let's leave the characters behind.Story development.The classic 'i want to be powerfull'In the 50 chapter there was nothing that may tell me about a greater plot of the story, or I haven't picked up on it. There is also another option, the story is supposed to end with Mc defeating the demon army wich appeared out of no where, which is better the plain 'i want to be powerfull' but Its not a plot involving the Mc in the earlier chapters(which is bad, and would feel like the story started in the middle) if author doesn't change the fact stated in (i think) 3rd chapter, that 'demons are few in numbers but powerful individually'. For Mc to meet them and have some story going on before maybe 6th(?) Realm, there would have to be major plot armours involved. Another thing is the amount of fortunate encounters.. Its staggering. Writing quality.Its honestly good, i haven't found any grammar errors of something of like. But its also nothing exellent, the english teacher wouldn't shit his pants while reading this. There are far better books in this regard, even on this platform, but for webnovel standard, its very good.World background. Its okayish. The author doesn't do a very good job at describing places, for example the feeling i get from the city Mc is born in is that of a town, but underneth it, is a gigantic cavern filled with hundreds of stalls(or something else, i don't remember). Last(minor) issue i would like to mention is the dragon scene. While it is cool and all, for me it feels Wrong that Mc didn't mention it when he learned about the realms. After all, for few years it was nearly everything he thought about. (or seemed so) The last is updite stability. I have no right to judge this, so i give It 5.(i read on a free trail in one day, so i never experience it.) While Its not a poetic master piece, or another Tolkien, Its a good book to kill time and boredom. (i am amazed by the amount of words i have wrote here, - about 4300- which is crazy)

    altalt
    Born in Blood
    Fantasy · CovidCandy
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    Maybe he is everloaded in his bank and beacause of that his bones at the back rub against his skin and break it

    "What the… Bones?" 
    altalt
    I Became The Pope, Now What?
    Fantasy · MisterImmortal
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    Kung-fu porc

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Record of Orc Civilization
    Fantasy · BugatiCatForm
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    Wasn't she between lv 1 and 2? When she was introduced it was said that she needed to bekome grad wizard lv 2 to become 9th Guardian

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    I Became The Pope, Now What?
    Fantasy · MisterImmortal
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Replied to PillGrandCreator

    It's Great

    Ch 198 History of the Lost Ones
    altalt
    Rise of the Nightmare Crestmaster
    Fantasy · PillGrandCreator
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Replied to NU_ST

    Well, to me it's a good thing, it makes me think that plot won't be shallow and there will be need of a lot of improvemet from main character. By shallow i mean that it will be a long journey filled with struggle. It makes things just more interesting. Like in Elden Ring Btw, s*rew Commander Niall

    Ch 198 History of the Lost Ones
    altalt
    Rise of the Nightmare Crestmaster
    Fantasy · PillGrandCreator
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    This story resembles lore of the elden ring more and more...

    Ch 198 History of the Lost Ones
    altalt
    Rise of the Nightmare Crestmaster
    Fantasy · PillGrandCreator
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Replied to Dotencsure

    1

    altalt
    The Great Genetic Era
    Eastern · Pig Sanbu
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Replied to Truwolf140

    He used one on parry

    -        Free skill point = 2/2
    altalt
    Second World
    Games · UnrivaledArcaner
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    Necromancer class seems to be better suited fo yvonne

    Ch 71 Ancient Paths of Advancement
    altalt
    Undying Warlord
    Action · HideousGrain
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    133

    Ch 128 Vile Execution
    altalt
    My Necromancer Class
    Fantasy · Aero182
    detail
  • Platypushover
    Platypushover1yr
    Commented

    I'm pretty sure that I won't get much sleep. What a terrible clifhanger. But seriously, what is his affinity? I think it will be aroud space or something like that beacause, you know, if space was an element, in my opinion it would had an absolute zero temperature. Like space element in novels, generally refers to ceating some vacuum or cutting reality to travel. It's like wind element, but it has no ability to be dull, its soundless and you can't change itś temperature. My bet is that apart from ice, he will absorb wind ang darkness(if there is source for element like that) Of course my assumptions are based on that, that author never mentioned an space mage. And that, that there are sources for; earth, ice(dean doesnt know that shang has it) fire, wind, water, lightning, darkness, and light(darkness and loght may not be true, and there may be instead metal or something else. If he mentioned about space mages, then I am a dumb.

    Ch 78 Chapter 78 – Trust?
    altalt
    Sword God in a World of Magic
    Fantasy · Warmaisach
    detail