Author, instead of explaining what he’s thinking, I think it would be nicer if we can just hear his thoughts. Also, I feel like you explain too much how these characters think. Instead of just outright showing the thoughts of other characters, you could show them through actions. Like a silent stare, biting their lip, holding back tears, determined eyes. I feel like it would make these characters feel a little less one dimensional if you don’t always explain exactly why they are acting in certian ways. Or if you are to do that, then do it when you switch POV’s.

Read it again then

Author, I think this would be more impactful if we could actually see Kyle’s thoughts.

Finally, are we gonna get some self-reflection?

Honestly, family death is just a rite of passage.

No, god please no

That would actually be really cool, and add more to this entire bloodline thing in general.

Kys

Bruh💀

Ayo?

Nawwww you didn’t need to say that bro…

Actually I think that’s for the best, the amount of brain rotting thoughts in there is probably enough to give me a heart attack.

Even tho Mc is dumb and shameless, author is good at grabbing interest, and a bit of mystery too. I hope Kyle does get better tho, cuz Imm cringing af😭💀

Ahhhhhhhh

Yeah…

Well, he’s also an ant rn👀

Talent is too saturated in this world, I think it’s time for a Mass-Exctinction event.