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MelancholicBoi

MelancholicBoi

Lv1
2021-06-09 JoinedGlobal
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of reading

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Moments

4
  • MelancholicBoi
    MelancholicBoi2yr
    Posted

    I haven't seen much updates and story development though that is expected on the first chapter. We did get a character design though it was a glimpse and the worlds background is kinda unknown.

    Insanities Only Downfall
    Action · fwoggie
    detail
  • MelancholicBoi
    MelancholicBoi2yr
    Commented

    Your dialogue writing skills should improve as you progress. But overall your writing seems fine.

    Ch 2 Help
    Insanities Only Downfall
    Action · fwoggie
    detail
  • MelancholicBoi
    MelancholicBoi2yr
    Commented

    really great breaking moment for the mc

    "WHY? Why was it you left your own son alone in this disgusting world. I haven't even seen much of the world and haven't found someone this important to me. The world was dark and I couldn't see so why would the two torches in my life go complete out. Was it a need for fuel? Something to keep them running at least until their last breath? Why would someone put this along to me? Wait? Was it me? Was it me who caused this? Was it because of me being adopted by the two that my mother was kidnapped and killed. Was it me that my father was killed himself? If I had acually been there for my father instead of him being there for me would he still be here. Should I join them?"
    Insanities Only Downfall
    Action · fwoggie
    detail
  • MelancholicBoi
    MelancholicBoi2yr
    Commented

    really great music track

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QkDXqv3lEQ
    Insanities Only Downfall
    Action · fwoggie
    detail