Wow... it was good. You can engage your readers with your story-telling. But I don't like the idea where it started all as First Person POV then after few paragraphs, it turned into Third Person. Regardless, I'm still interested and I want to finish it.

The pacing is just okay. Ummm, it just needs a little editing. But besides that, it's good.

So far you're a good writer. You make me engage to your story. Not all writers have that gift in them.