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I mean, the story is great and the concept's good, but why is it marked as an Original novel...? This is clearly a fanfic lol. Only reason I gave it a low rating.
I have to say, the world background and overall concept of the story is interesting, but... characters are a bit 2D, and the writing quality is far from perfect. However, since you are a new writer, this is completely reasonable. I believe as long as you continue practicing, this book or any of your future ones if you do choose to write another has the potential to become one of the top novels of the site. Keep it up!
Overall, good novel with a great premise. I would recommend using Grammarly or something of the sort to help with the writing quality as it can be improved, but other than that, there is not much to complain about. Keep up the good work, author!