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Sporanium

Sporanium

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Hi there~

2021-06-01 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

3h

of reading

18

Read books

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4

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8
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Replied to Jenival_Enyia

    For the POV, you can make it like this whole chapter is from James and the next chapter is from the other perspective. So you don't need to mention who is the POV currently. Each character has a characteristic, use that to your advantage for the reader to be aware that if you mentioned that certain characteristic they will know who it was. I can't comment on how you should do to the story pace because it's just my preference, so it's better to think about it yourself [img=recommend]

    altalt
    Justice And Desire
    Urban · Jenival_Enyia
    detail
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Posted

    The story development is too slow, and the point-out pov was too much annoying from my point of view. But the character development, I feel like the character inside was a real person. The dialogue is surreal and it's comfortable to read. Kudos to the author! Keep up the good work!

    altalt
    Justice And Desire
    Urban · Jenival_Enyia
    detail
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Posted

    The world building, there's no much that I can say because there's only 4 chapters in it, but it seems the world take at medieval era. The writing quality is good. Overall it's good to read but the update stability kinda slow. Keep up the good work!

    altalt
    Once Alone
    LGBT+ · BeeInAPan
    detail
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Commented

    Kinda unexpected

    This was the night my father raped and abused me. This was the night I lost my voice. Everything went black after that.
    altalt
    Once Alone
    LGBT+ · BeeInAPan
    detail
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Commented

    Ooh, a half-angle

    This book has been deleted.
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Posted

    The way the author write is kinda unique, using himself as a narrator and describing the situation work. But it's confusing on it's own, the way the author use punctuation is a mess. And too much "tell" that make it bland. But the story was good, the concept of revenge are neatly arranged with nerdy past of mc. Overall, it's decent to read.

    altalt
    Living in the past
    Action · Zeton
    detail
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Commented

    Kinda wondered, who's liver Zuhaib pull?

    "How did I get here? All I remember is that I saw Zafar tied up to a chair and I couldn't move after Zuhaib pulled some liver and a light just came out of nowhere and now I m here.Maybe I'm in a dream,well if it's a dream I just wanna wake up already my day was just so tough i want sort out things with Faisal and Zuha- Oh wait! I know that I am dreaming so does that mean I am lucid dreaming? Huh? I can't really seem to do anything. I can't even move on my on. Maybe I am not lucid dream- wait what?"
    altalt
    Living in the past
    Action · Zeton
    detail
  • Sporanium
    Sporanium1yr
    Posted

    The writing quality are good, but there's too much 'tell' on it. The world building feels like Twilight, So imagining it kinda easy, the pace and the story development is slow. Sometimes, I confused by sudden change of point of view. Overall, it's good to read. [img=recommend]

    altalt
    Goldy's Diary
    Fantasy · Ona_Gold
    detail