camel_powered49

it didn't say you cannot TELL a lie. he cannot LIE, withholding the truth would be a form of lying.

as Keith drives home doesn't connect to the rest of the sentence.

How so? It doesn't make any sense. Murderers aren't better at murder than anyone else. It would make more sense if it was some super murderer that only exists in the book.

Perhaps I was a bit harsh 2 years ago. However, I don't think this criticism is entirely about taste. Lengthy info dumps are just poor examples of exposition. Integrated info dumps shouldn't feel like info dumps, they should be engaging and prevent a break of immersion. I never thought the world revolved around me, it was just disappointing that a story I thought had potential was starting to feel like homework.

Please change the voice to an in universe serial killer. There are still families traumatized by the actions of Ted Bundy. It is extremely unlikely that any of them will read this but it is still in bad taste.

I wouldn't recommend the diet. It's very restrictive and carbohydrates are important for energy and muscle maintenance. 2700 calories of meat would also be impossible for me to eat every day.

This is a logical fallacy. The reason they got scurvy is because they were cooking the fish. Vitamin c is very heat sensitive, if they chose to eat it raw, they wouldn't have gotten scurvy. The carnivore diet isn't super rare, there's been a few different peer review studies on it but it's only really useful in cases of autoimmune disorders so there's not much open market research.

A bottle of water is usually 500ml, I'm just going off that.

Nope, meat has vitamin c. On an all meat diet you only get half the daily recommended value but meat also contains certain enzymes that make the body more efficiently use the limited vitamin c to make up for it. The only thing you don't get on a carnivore diet is joy.

That's not better; Internal consistency is the most important part of a story.