Bummer

Cool concept. The idea of a untrustworthy and shifty kind of town, while not unique, is certainly interesting to write about. I like some of the world building done to the story. Additionally, the characters have some promise and the town in itself is showing some great signs of intrigue and curiousity (to me). However, I'm going to be honest. This could use some improvement. The writing quality is debatable, sometimes being tolerable. Other times, it becomes detrimental to the flow of the story. The characters' growth and depictions are somewhat flat and confusing. The setting and plot are a little confusing and contradicting each other (and while the author has stated that most of the points I made about the plot are intentional, a better communication of the intentionality, whether be through further descriptions of those details, would help). And overall, the length of the novel's chapters are too short to fully immerse me into the plot, nor fully keep me compelled with its story (although some events do spike my interest in the novel). Overall, it has real potential, and noting the author's nice recieving of my criticisms and promise to improve the novel, I have hopes for this. For now, this review simply states that it is interesting and cool but lacking in depth, sophistication, and cues. Still, can't wait to see what's next.

Good observation. I hope these comments aren't degrading or demotivating you. You have an interesting concept and potentially good characters. Some practice and some refinement is keen onto making your story, and even writing in itself, so much better. You got this, though. Don't worry.

Hmmmm, I see.

Okay... I'm not sure if I can that things have improved. It's definitely something. Something I'm noticing is that the chapters are relatively short. I know the author is defining the chapters' meanings (case files and regular cases) but even then, the pacing and length of these chapters leave much to be desired. Now, I appreciate the growing dynamic between Ace and Ruben. It's nice. I just kinda wish there were more scenes to show that growth. The encounters with the car, the truck, the main hall, and the house aren't enough to demonstrate a growth in their relationship, considering that most of it had them in a annoyed-playful kinship (and, again, were relatively short). Also, the characters themselves are significantly changing at times. Ruben acts now less arrogantly and more considerate towards Ace and Ace loses the calculated touch of her character until the reminder of her personality by the end. While I could say the growth is nice since it adds a layer of depth to the characters, it isn't enough, nor justified from the dearth of events happening. Additionally, not much was added to the plot outside of the end, which honestly spiked my interest for the next chapter. All in all, I could say there's some improvement considering the character's new dynamic and interesting direction. But the thin foundation of it, both gramatically and thematically, isn't really helping anything with it.

Oooooh. Suspense.

Alright so they establish that Ace is cold. Nice. Some establishment of lore. One thing, though. What's with the sudden amicability between the two? They didn't have much chemistry nor a form of dynamic in the first two chapters, especially with Ace acting very annoyed at him. But now? They're almost pals, snickering and playfully responding to one another. And this is only the next day from the last chapter. So why the sudden character shift?

One, the wording is kinda confusing. A lot of repetition with a lack of substantial grammar that could help define Ruben's processing. Two, weird character change considering that Ruben was apparently the stupid/inconsiderate jerk from the first two chapters. Not inherently a bad thing; just adding onto my sense of distortion.

...the Whispering Pines." Okay but one criticism. The portion in which we are introduced to our characters could've been better expanded and delved deeper into. Oh, well. Let's see how it goes.

Interesting. Why the name change?

You literally asked where was Tim before you forgot who he was. Could be a story element but I kinda wish it was better indicated.