DaRealMastalin

See this! I just gifted the story: Pizza

Why is his pool so pathetic?

As usual, there are some repeat parts.

"I need to find some single edge weapons" proceeds to do the same thing again and get a double edge sword ....

I understand the need to write her out specifically because attempting to come up with reasons for him to be able to go to other places without her being a shackle would have quickly become cliché and nonsensical. The issue was she provided some brevity and dimension to the MC who was losing his emotions. As weird as it sounds, there always needs to be some cheesy human connection in stories about emotionally challenged MCs. You're doing great, just a little feedback as you continue to progress the story.

I can imagine this is where a good amount of readers dropped. At this point the novel boils down to racism for racism sake, death for deaths sake and an MC who lacks motivation and has zero emotional range.

I wonder what Luke and Lord Dumpy talent levels are .

Now I want to see how he gets around this because you would think his genes would reveal his bloodline

HBD