EyeSmile

Hi

THANKS! I really appriciate the comment. Unfortunately I made the mistake of applying for a contract without re going over what I had and got declined this morning. Probably going to redo what I have and move it over to wattpad or something.

I hope yall are enjoying this, I’ll let yall know when I’ve bought up and re edited everything.

Just looked through your book and wat to say some words of encouragement! Good job!!!! Writing a book is a fun experience so keep it up. Some things to note. Break up large paragraphs, make them around 50 or less words, unless it needs to be longer. It also helps if you get the chats in their own separate paragraphs as well. If you need examples check out my book. Other than that keep it up!

Some of the paragraphs were a bit long, recommend re writing them down, or splitting them up too around 50 words or less. Those blocks with the speech that humans can’t understand should be changed. Some of them felt pointless. (A lot of this I’ve learned while writing my book, I’m having to go back through and edit it heavily.) Other than that, was chilling. Cool plot and all that. Let me know if you would like to trade shout outs or collections or something.

Thought I’d be the first to give it a review. To start off with, definitely need to break up the longer paragraphs down to less or around 50 words. Remember most people are reading from their phones, and longer paragraphs make it harder to read. Another thing I ended up doing for my book, someone (recommended it to me) was too take out the chats and have them as stand alone paragraphs. Just makes it a little easier to digest. I also recomend getting rid of words that tell, such as “thought” “felt” and other feeling words. Theres some usage for thought but its if your going to use thought text. Example: bob thought about his loving family. Change: bon pulled out a small photo, it contained a picture of his family hugging him. He blushed. Of course only do this if the reader cares about”bob” Right: Bob looked at the wall and thought ‘Man, where is my wallet’ This allows you to convey thinking without strait up telling the audiance. One last thing before i go. Would you mind trading shout outs? Just lmk.

no prob! Definitely needed a re work.

I AGREE!! I went threw it and realized I had much room to improve!!!. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

Don’t know why you put spoiler, BUT THANK YOU!!!! I appreciate the feedback.

THANKS FOR THE COMMENT!! It means so much to me. I will definitely keep editing the book till I get caught up on the releases. I hope you enjoy and keep reading.