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Cloki

Cloki

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Author of Tatakai no Mezurashi: Fighting Demons in a Steampunk World! I enjoy all things Fantasy/Isekai/System! If you read my novel, please leave comments and feedback! I really appreciate it!

2021-04-01 JoinedUnited States
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Writing

0.7h

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80

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5

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18
  • Cloki
    Cloki1yr
    Posted

    Author here, leave feedback! I take kindly to constructive criticism and story ideas/other miscellaneous feedback! I hope you are enjoying the story thus far.

    altalt
    Tatakai no Mezurahsi: Fighting Demons in a Steampunk World!
    Fantasy · Cloki
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Pretty good so far! Read the prologue and up through chapter 6, will read more when I have time. I love the dark aspects of it, things such as the voids, darkness and chaos, and space and time all mingling together, with their own jobs in the universe. The encounters between Genesis and Heaven, clashing back and forth, trying to realize a correct way of going about the re-creation of everything, and then whom I assume is the MC, coming about in the Astral Realm! Though, he seems to be experiencing every pain imaginable from the moment he wakes up there haha. I love it so far, and recommend it! The more you read, the more enticed you get! Good job!

    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented

    Yo this just got real, super quick.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented

    Ahhh, I see now. Nevermind then!

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented

    Ah, his appearance did change.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented

    Truly words to consider. I wonder how things are gonna go for Genesis now.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented

    Chaos in the Void, though it might not be the "Chaos" as described earlier. It's still fascinating to picture so much going on at once.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented

    If this prologue is meant to be an origin story for everything, you're doing a very good job. Heaven and Genisis both seem like level-headed individuals, yet their ideas clash. I like it so far if I'm understanding it right.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Search Unraveling Despair
    Fantasy · XXXXC
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Read the first chapter. These are some long chaps you have! Are they 5k+ words? I'm used to shorter chaps, so I only read the first, and a little bit into 2. But, I like where it's going. I've never really explored the concept of Yuri, although I am a fan of romance, and the characters seem quite intriguing in terms of their potential in the future. Well done so far!

    altalt
    ---
    LGBT+ · Yairy
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Pretty good start. Kinda sudden how the father sacrifices his daughter to become mayor, but it's intriguing because I want to know what will happen to her in the future, if she'll die, or perhaps survive, or maybe even be taken away by the demon. Nice job so far!

    altalt
    --uu
    Urban · Sonder_Ella
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Commented
    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Re:Sub [Go to Repost]
    Horror · Geminel
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Pretty good so far! Story was conveyed well, world-building is exceptional, grammar is pretty good, I like where it's going! I'll read on later when I have more time

    altalt
    A Story of Evil
    Fantasy · Campoccino
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Great start! Kinda like an "antihero" sort of protag, with a darker aura around him. I like where it's going! Some of the grammar could be improved, but other than that, gj

    altalt
    Sword Chaser Child Of Darkness
    Fantasy · Anthony_Galloway
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Really really good start. First chapter had me on the edge of my seat to figure out what was going on on that bus! Although it was only a nightmare, it’s still a great introduction to the horror aspect, and the true feeling of loneliness that the MC experienced, desperately trying to get ahold of anyone. Loved it so far! I’ll read more when chapters release

    altalt
    Watches Over You
    Horror · BlindBandit
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Read a few chaps, and all I can say is that this story is super relatable. It captures the essence of an aspiring author and goes through the mindset of him as he learns about his struggles and the natural hardships of being a writer trying to make it to the top. It's pretty inspiring TBH, I'm glad we all have something to read and relate ourselves with LOL. Great start!

    altalt
    A Writer's Deadline
    Fantasy · meixiaolian
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Love the idea of an AI partner. It's like he's watching over Wei and giving him advice, but he's too under-leveled to be of any substantial use at the moment. Good start!

    altalt
    My Shitty Isekai Adventure
    Action · KageMugen
    detail
  • Cloki
    Cloki2yr
    Posted

    Author here, I appreciate all feedback. If you think something was interesting, let me know! If you thought something was disinteresting, let me know! I wanna make sure this story appeals to a wide audience.

    altalt
    Re: Hero Camp!
    Fantasy · Cloki
    detail