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JayJay_3591

JayJay_3591

Lv1
2021-03-27 JoinedGlobal
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  • JayJay_3591
    JayJay_35913yr
    Posted

    This story is amazing so far. although there are a few spelling and germatical errors here and there, The writing stile is uneque. I love the charicers and their personalitys as well (sorry if their are spelling errors in this)

    Dragon Assassins
    Fantasy · N1ght_is_forever
    detail
  • JayJay_3591
    JayJay_35913yr
    Commented

    Instead of wasn’t, I believe You mean weren’t. This story is amazing so far, keep it Up

    "The hell was that? What did I provoke? WHY DID I PICK THIS BOUNTY?" the sniper thought, their hands slick from sweat. Hope was still trying to distract them from targeting me when she noticed they wasn't moving.
    Dragon Assassins
    Fantasy · N1ght_is_forever
    detail
  • JayJay_3591
    JayJay_35913yr
    Commented

    I would re-phrase the sentence "My dream was the same nightmare." instead, go for something more like, tonight was the same routine, same nightmare, or, tonight I had the same nightmare. other than that I love the story so far. Keep up the good work

    My dream was the same nightmare. A cage was around me, one I couldn't escape from. It was dark, and smelled of the dead. Suddenly, out of the darkness came a river of needles. Poking and prodding, stabbing me through old marks and new spots. All I could do was scream in agony and pain. But just before I pass out in the dream, I would see Rose, my only friend, get crushed by a hammer, left for dead.
    Dragon Assassins
    Fantasy · N1ght_is_forever
    detail