Olivia_Wiseman_05
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Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommentedlove the title but missleading though
Felix - velvet- Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
keep this and combine it with home sweet hone
Felix - broken dreams - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take this out
Felix - safe and sound - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrReplied to Olivia_Wiseman_05
keep*
Felix - Home sweet home...or not - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
this is good kepp this pice and combine it with
Felix - Home sweet home...or not - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
except this add this to chapter 5
Julio and I haven't been taling that much eversence he kissed me at lunch a few weeks ago. I don't ask him about that. - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take this entirely out of the book
Felix - tips and toes - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
too much drama already developing in the plot but this could have potential
Felix - messed-up world - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
i like it add it with the yellow house and best buds
Felix - the grand total - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take this entire chapter out
Felix - Just breathe - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
love it keeps this chapter!
"Sure." I close the door behind him as he comes inside. He takes his coat off and shoes. The weather's cold and windy. I see the trees slightly moving with the wind rocking it gently and gracefully like the waves of the vast ocean I once saw, maybe in a past life. Because in this life. I have never seen something worth living for; worth waiting for, but yet I'm still here. I'm still here breathing the same air as my ancestors before me. Breathing the same air as the Native Americans once did. Breathing the same air as the dinosaurs before they were extinct; gone and dead. - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
this chapter was intriguing until this part
After school, I go to the jailhouse. I go up to the information chief to talk to Maria. - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
this paragraph should've been longer or more descriptive or even add a little dialogue in there
Then she tells us a story about how she had to reject someone in high school. Then, she has us read pages 35-40 and write down six comprehension questions. The bell rings as we go to lunch. Charlie says as we walk to our table, "Bro, I heard that you and Alaska broke up." - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrReplied to Olivia_Wiseman_05
or add it with other chapters in the novle
Felix - sad, depressing group home - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take this entire chapter out
Felix - sad, depressing group home - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take the rest of this chapter out
"I saw her at Maria's last night." - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
keep chapter put in chapter 2
Felix - I'm not a grown-up, I just have common sense - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take this out
Felix - Jackpot - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
this is good the way it it keep this in
Felix - grandSON - Olivia_Wiseman_052yrCommented
take this entire chapter out
Felix - grey and gloomy