ydoBoN

Honestly, I have to tell you that I really enjoy your writing style when it comes to action. The way you describe the choreography is absolutely fantastic, and it's so descriptive that it's almost as if I can practically see it. I also like the way the Mc monologues in such a cold and analogical point of view, yet he still has to deal with the new and unexpected burst of emotions

At this point, I can't wait until we are done with the cat and mosue part of the story. I understand that you seem to be aiming for a murder-mystery dynamic, with a genius but inexperienced character going up against veteran, hardened Gotham detectives. However, the execution is starting to feel more frustrating than interesting. To be clear, the issue is not that he makes mistakes. Mistakes are necessary, especially for an inexperienced character, because they create tension and give him room to grow. The problem is that he has made so many "rookie mistakes" in such a short span of time that it no longer feels believable for him to keep getting away with them. This supposedly Machiavellian, genius-level character has made a long series of errors across twelve'ish chapters, and more importantly, he does not seem to learn from them. He keeps repeating the same mistakes again and again, which makes it increasingly difficult for me to believe he had any chance against escaping Batman. I honestly do not think many readers believe he can get away with anything at this point, especially when every one of his so-called mastermind plans has been undermined by people like a gang member with gas powers, a detective, his own ego, a drug-addicted gang leader, another detective, and now, most recently, a no-name tailor. So my question is: how are we supposed to believe he has any real chance of getting away from Batman, let alone standing against any established supervillain or hero? Right now, the question is no longer “Can he get away with this?” but rather “When will he be caught?” With the number of mistakes he has already made, it feels like there is no realistic chance for him to escape once Batman gets even the slightest hint of what is going on. I am still interested in seeing whether he ultimately becomes a villain or an anti-hero, though I honestly do not see how he could become a true hero after everything he has done.

You gud? Not to be offensive but this kinda seems like a psychotic breakdown XD

Hydrophant is heading for his throne is crazy 🤣

I’m enjoying the story so far. My only criticism is that, in the first ten chapters, you created situations that made Yuji reveal almost all of his abilities, which felt unnecessary. There is no need to rush it. It would feel more natural and effective if his powers were revealed gradually as the story progresses.

I’m a little confused about why you decided to give him electricity-based abilities. If his power is supposed to be radiation control, then scientifically it would make more sense for it to generate extreme heat, potentially reaching levels as intense as the surface of the sun. I know quirks are not always meant to be fully realistic, but the side effects of radiation alone would already be an incredible power. So why take that away just to replace it with lightning?

My brother, for the love of God could you stop it with the flashback, every single event so far has been a flashback, it's a good writing device when use every now and then. But you quite literally used it for every single action scene

At the moment, the character’s arc feels unclear. If the intention was to show growth or a change in response to his losses, that shift isn’t coming across strongly. His behavior reads the same as before, which is surprising given how significant this moment is for his development. Honestly, the potential impact of this turning point feels off. Assuming that's what you intended.

Me está encantado la dirección de la historia, No puedo esperar a ver cómo crear su reino.

I am amazed how after so much time reading this story it keeps surprising me. This is my favorite DC story to this day. Seeing how you progress as a writer with every chapter has been an amazing experience. I cannot wait for your next chapter nor for your next story.