MIMI24
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MIMI243mthCommentedCh 2 The Accident- MIMI243mthCommentedCh 1 The Interview
- MIMI243mthCommentedCh -42 I'll stay by you
- MIMI243mthPosted
The writing is good and smooth. The story is a bit confusing. The second and third prologues are long and somehow add to my confusion. But when the story begins, things become clearer. The world background needs to be more explained. It is a multi-realm background and should be taken one by one to be understandable for readers. At first, many characters do many things in many places. Try to focus on the MC from the beginning and let her discover the realms by herself. The first prologue is a good start, but if the first chapter began with Luna, maybe it would be simpler and easier because I really had a hard time tracking the story. All the best.
- MIMI243mthCommented
Why did he go by himself? he could have ordered someone else to go.
This paragraph has been deleted. - MIMI243mthCommentedCh -50 Luna
- MIMI243mthCommented
So Nakul spent 40 years to do his task and still trying to?
This paragraph has been deleted. - MIMI243mthCommentedCh -53 Prologue part I
- MIMI243mthCommented
Who is Nala?
This paragraph has been deleted. - MIMI243mthCommented
Nice poem
I doubted if I should ever come back.* - MIMI243mthCommentedCh 1 Suicidal
- MIMI243mthReplied to Diamond_sunshine
you are totally right
The maid lowered her head and walked out like a wronged child. Selah shook her head and followed the maid. She had no patience to listen to her previous relationship with a scary man. It was obvious the man didn't love the duchess, but she was still throwing herself on him thus ending a miserable end. - MIMI243mthPosted
The writing is good and simple to understand. The story development is a bit slow. The first chapter introduces the ML only. There is no action but the fight with a bully which gets solved easily. Give the lead an ambition and let him suffer to achieve it. It was said that the main character had some sort of great power. It will be nice to have him discover himself through tough experiences and not give him the power easily. Overall it is a fun read.
This book has been deleted. - MIMI243mthCommentedCh 2 Ethan Smith
- MIMI243mthCommented
she was certainly going to be fired.
Avery's jaw dropped as she took in his features. His strong jawline, piercing eyes which were framed by his dark and long lashes, and his full lips had a natural pink hue, adding to his overall attractiveness. - MIMI243mthCommented
Wow! Nice move.
That was the breaking point for Avery. Her blood boiled as anger coursed through her veins, and before she could realize it, she had already picked up a cup of hot coffee, and thrown it at him.