CopyPaste1
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CopyPaste16mthCommentedCh -1 Original Character Images- CopyPaste17mthCommented
i understand you wanna make your story more complex and maybe more interesting but to tell you the truth i think this chapter was bad one,especially when you use powers outside of the lore and original story there was no reason for the whole sister secrets and random powers especially when the story is to a early state anyways
Ch 6 Chapter 6 - CopyPaste19mthCommented
yea...nopeadios
[Gentle reminder: After recruiting a special crew member, the host will obtain 50% of their power, along with a random 20% of their skills or abilities!] - CopyPaste110mthCommentedCh 1 1. The Boy Who Eats  Â
- CopyPaste111mthCommentedCh 1 1: A Dreadful night
- CopyPaste111mthCommented
don't use Mr... destroy the immersion
The guard narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Bryce. "Why are you arriving at Gulltown under the cover of darkness Mr. Emberwood? It's not a common sight for travelers to arrive at night." - CopyPaste111mthCommented
really 3 paragraphs just for a chest ??? your story is not bad but is like your Mc talks and talks but in the end he is saying nothing ..
At the center of the chest's lid, there was a small, ornate lock that seemed to be a work of art in itself. The lock was adorned with more gemstones, arranged in a pattern that seemed to hint at a hidden code or secret mechanism. It was evident that this lock was not only functional but also served as a piece of the chest's decorative design. - CopyPaste11yrReplied to ZE_NO_KECh 2 Chapter 1
- CopyPaste11yrCommentedCh 3 3
- CopyPaste11yrCommentedCh 2 02: The Adoption of Loki Odinson
- CopyPaste11yrPosted
first 5 chapters is somewhat good plot with robotic storytelling and dialogues after chapter 6 is full plotholes and canon changes with zero reason behind them... students going to different houses and George and Fred ia a year older tham canon amd more other details change but we never know why ... the power scaling of Mc is bad..the whole blind soul seeing is waste of 10 chapters and the personality ofc is childish ... read chapter 6 and you will know... a somewhat good start but author trying to make a trolling Mc
- CopyPaste11yrCommented
wtf is that trash paragraph ??
Clay decided to have a little fun and smirked before slowly nodding in a sincere voice. "Are you a cat?" he asked. There was a moment of silence before he continued, "No, no, you're not a cat. Ah, I see. You must be the transfiguration teacher of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and an animagus to boot," he nodded as if he had just uncovered the answers to the world's secrets. "Are you here to give me my Hogwarts letter? I'm afraid I won't be able to read it as I'm currently blind." - CopyPaste11yrCommented
lol Mc lost some braincells đ
"W-what good will that do!?" Victor exclaimed as he felt his soul get pulled away. - CopyPaste11yrCommented
why you use latin names for planets when there is no Latin yet..and cleary the planet can not have the names like that?? nevermind!
Hypnos thoughtfully thrummed his armrest. "You shall draw Kronos into outer space between Mars and Jupiter, and that shall be the battlefield," he decreed. - CopyPaste11yrCommented
I understand what he is trying to say but is to much You are in a world where magic is real and magical bloodlines too I dont know the the wolf blood is real or not but is wrong to demise a bloodline as fake if you are not sure in this world
Not everyone, but just everyone who would hear about the 'wolf blood' of the Starks and think that's cool rather than an inherent failure in parenting to curb the self destructive entitled tendencies of a child. Them, and dumb people. - CopyPaste11yrReplied to Einlion
you are wrong .. lets aay something simple he could start train his body from a young age to build muscles or he could make conections around the neighborhood or something anyway that was a waste of 20000 points
Snapping her fingers, the Auditor created a hard, inflexible wooden chair for the scarred man to sit in. He was tempted to ask why she didn't give him one like hers, but rather than wasting time with idle chatter, he took a seat and spent what felt like days picking and choosing what he believed to be the most beneficial settings. This included investing 20,000 Karma toward skipping his early childhood, elementary, and middle school days, but he didn't consider it a waste as experiencing infancy and adolescence as an adult would have been a nightmare...