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i understand you wanna make your story more complex and maybe more interesting but to tell you the truth i think this chapter was bad one,especially when you use powers outside of the lore and original story there was no reason for the whole sister secrets and random powers especially when the story is to a early state anyways
yea...nopeadios
don't use Mr... destroy the immersion
really 3 paragraphs just for a chest ??? your story is not bad but is like your Mc talks and talks but in the end he is saying nothing ..
first 5 chapters is somewhat good plot with robotic storytelling and dialogues after chapter 6 is full plotholes and canon changes with zero reason behind them... students going to different houses and George and Fred ia a year older tham canon amd more other details change but we never know why ... the power scaling of Mc is bad..the whole blind soul seeing is waste of 10 chapters and the personality ofc is childish ... read chapter 6 and you will know... a somewhat good start but author trying to make a trolling Mc
wtf is that trash paragraph ??
lol Mc lost some braincells đ
why you use latin names for planets when there is no Latin yet..and cleary the planet can not have the names like that?? nevermind!
I understand what he is trying to say but is to much You are in a world where magic is real and magical bloodlines too I dont know the the wolf blood is real or not but is wrong to demise a bloodline as fake if you are not sure in this world
you are wrong .. lets aay something simple he could start train his body from a young age to build muscles or he could make conections around the neighborhood or something anyway that was a waste of 20000 points