Chaos_Butterfly
The future is unstable, but the description of the future is stable.
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Chaos_Butterfly2mthReplied to Violet01588I need many confirmations before I comment and it often gets delayed.
"I caught a cold at the end of the year. Fortunately, it wasn't the flu that's been going around, so I recovered after a couple of days."- Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented"It's not like that... Ayanokōji-senpai is our aspiration!"
- Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
bro, sakayanagi and ryueen teamed up
However, Ryūen's class showed even more momentum. Even though Sakayanagi was fighting back by repeating irregular categories and nominations, the situation wasn't improving; they had achieved four consecutive perfect protection results. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthReplied to UchihaUzumaki
she's probably measuring ayanokoji's abilities
'Ayanokōji Kiyotaka,' 'Matsushita Chiaki,' 'Karuizawa Kei' - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
Now I know, maybe there is a rat in Ryuen's class
"W-wait, wait, wait. I'll input it quickly." Following his voice, Hoshinomiya swiftly operated the tablet. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
Ayanakoji intentionally got the flu, but he is asymptomatic. He then passed it to Kei. Makes perfect sense as even though Kei is very popular it is still doubtful where she got the flu. The reason is that Coincidences are Scary and unlikely in COTE.
"I caught a cold at the end of the year. Fortunately, it wasn't the flu that's been going around, so I recovered after a couple of days." - Chaos_Butterfly2mthReplied to KIYOTAK_AYANOGOD_
Bro, turn off the caps lock. You are so loud!
"As a natural-born genius, I can't lose to a created genius like you." - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
Well guy, don't know the God language, but it's probably the Caesar Cipher. Sjhiu?
Along with a somewhat melancholic guitar tone, the female singer's voice and lyrics reached my ears: 'A broken heart can only be healed by time. That person is now with someone else...' - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
This is farfetched, but what if Ichinose did something.
This morning, I learned that there were confirmed cases of influenza among several students, regardless of their year. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
What if this is Sakayanagi's plan? Remember that she was the only one who knows Ayanakoji's true plan. This is clearly not a coincidence and it is perfectly executed to not give Ayanakoji an inch to proceed with his plan. The only one that could do so is the one who knows the plan in the first place.
"I don't like the way this is going, but you're going to be the student council president, Suzune." - Chaos_Butterfly2mthPosted
It is like being thrown in a battlefield without an armor and a weapon. The introduction has too much unknown info that is not properly introduced. An introduction should need as little information as possible, and have as little information as possible. You can build the world step by step and the readers have that much time to waste considering they are reading webnovels.
- Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
I can feel the passion, but it is easy to be lost in your book as there is no clear plotline. I get it that they eat, been attacked, discovered that they are Mystics, then others. The introduction is lacking. I don't mean putting every information in the intro, but as much as possible please minimize the undefined words. This book has the potential if properly executed.
"Krea! Try to fly like Supergirl!" I said excited, trying to be of help. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
Didn't know this. That's what Velcro means. Why would I find it here huhu.
"So we inherited some of mom and dad's Velcro traits. Wild hair that's alive, metal nails, and you know the other stuff." He said. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
Didn't know this. That's what Velcro means. Why would I find it here huhu.
"So we inherited some of mom and dad's Velcro traits. Wild hair that's alive, metal nails, and you know the other stuff." He said. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
So there is something like a villain-hero dynamic, since there are mystics fighting in broad daylight? The introduction just has too little information to appreciate your work.
The poison girl radiated bright green and I held my breath. She looked at me and smiled. I cannot believe this. How am I going to get out of here. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
I'm sorry if this comes too often. I will try to make it as constructive as possible. The pacing is just too fast without any primary motivation. What I mean is that there is no clue why the girl would poison someone at this very early chap. Is there a grudge or something? There's too much unknown.
They looked at each other and started laughing. I know that girl poisoned me OMG. Why are these girls playing with me. I am about to hit one of them... - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
Is Calicrow a place or a person?
I went down 5 blocks in Calicrow. I like the scenery around this place. It's suburban, and have a really pleasant atmosphere! I almost made it downtown until some kind of plasma ball whizzed by my face. I whipped around, instincts on hyper alert. - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
You haven't included what mystics are in the first chap. It is self-explanatory, but at least the reason why they exist or their brief history will be helpful. For example, 'My brother is a mystic, a mana-gifted superhuman capable of teleportation." Like I don't know what mystics are capable of.
Hm. Where to go... I just decided to go right. Down the sidewalk I go! I am not ready to go back to college yet but I have to leave in a few days. I am going to be a chemist! It's so exciting and something I love! - Chaos_Butterfly2mthCommented
This should have been in the beginning. I wondered what Velcro means in that context when I read the first part.
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