webnovel
0
Ryjn

Ryjn

Lv3
2021-02-24 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

167.7h

of reading

28

Read books

Badges
8
Moments
1
  • Ryjn
    Ryjn3 years ago
    Posted

    I think that the pacing is a bit too fast. It feels like the story is fragmented since it feels a bit awkward at some times, like when did she get comfortable enough to ask for help in Chapter 5-6. There's also that intimidating wall of text, maybe try to break the paragraph a few times. Aside from that, the story is good. I see some potential. Potential that I hope it will achieve someday.

Golden Hands

Aboard a train with her friends and family after being forcefully taken from their homes. A young girl by the name of Miya escaped from their capturers' grasp, giving her a chance to save herself and everyone else. Somewhere else aboard the train, a mysterious man with a pair of golden eyes appeared to be in the same situation as them, captured. Miya tried to reason with the man as she tried to set him free, but before she could a door swung open. A group of people entered, forcing the mysterious man to act. Saving Miya by hiding her behind him. One thing led to another, and before Miya realized it. She was separated from her family for the foreseeable future, forcing her to rely on the golden-eyed man for support as she traversed these new and mysterious lands. On their journey, they will meet allies that will help them or they will meet enemies that will break them. Will they see the truth behind the masks that their so-called friends wear?

Ryjn · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
140 Chs