MA_Frio

Me too 😅

I’m definitely looking forward to this game

I would probably compare the processing room to something other than a tropical place though, because its initial description seemed cold and dreary, which is not at all like the tropical areas of the world. Characterisation of the new characters is interesting. Glad to see the story picking up a bit.

I like the light hearted humor of the story so far. I would’ve liked more build up to the big reveal/discovery of the main character’s powers though: a more detailed glimpse into his everyday world, and maybe a little specifics about how his friendship with his old friend ended—basically a more immersive introductory experience. I can’t deny I’m intrigued though and am interested to read further.

The writing was good—pleasant enough to read with just a few lapses in grammar and a few awkward word choices. The beginning with the hitchhiker and the missing girls provided an interesting opening but I don’t see the value or purpose of these details at the end; literally it was like I was reading a series of events (like the description says) but those events weren’t really dependent on each other and barely connected at the end. Though I felt the story lacking in execution and plot, it has overall an intiguing premise.

What I was thinking Or you can just say “of bad repute”

I like the description of the houses moving. I really like personification of inanimate objects.

The word works if he distinguished it FROM something, like if he distinguished the hills FROM the road meaning he spotted the hills as a separate structure from the road.

Thanks for commenting

Thank you for reading <3