MisterClaps

the dialogue feels like its written for kids and people who struggle to follow a story. i suggest not doing that. if i wanted dialogue like this then i would be in the living room with my little nephew as he watches Bluey.

Sadly for you and all of us, he hasnt updated this good story in months. probably to focus on his main novel. Hoping he comes back to this in the near future

can anyone that has access to the latest locked chapter tell us poor folk what happened to the author? did the author leave a note about going on a hiatus or if they dropped this story

i guess her isolated lifestyle is the cause for her attitude towards those 2 men. Not even feeling any danger at all towarfs them

Forgot to mention, but the author or chatGPT really likes to repeat the same phrase from, for example, chapter A and repeat it again in chapter B. Chapter A: "Its not about arming them, its about balancing the playing field" Chapter B: "Its not abput arming, its about balancing the playing field" I frequent AI chatbots and chatGPT, one thing I know in common between them, is that AI loves to repeat and copy&paste phrases. Do better, atleast mix it up or paraphrase the entire passage... otherwise your novel is nothing about lazy, AI-generated slop with decent AI writing.

1. Amber was employed by the MC to be his secretary, but I'm guessing the many chapters of Amber not making an appearance caused chatGPT to forget about her existence since in a later chapter, his secretary is someone else? 2. All that interaction and romantic tension with Amber and yet the author just kind of forgot about her. When she reappeared it felt more like "Oh damn, I forgot she existed. Better write her back in" from the author. 3. The MC already met with the president and yet in a later chapter the president goes "I can finally meet the man of innovation". Either chatGPT memory is lacking or the author is going too fast to the point of forgetting their own story. it wasnt even that long ago of the MC meeting the president before this chapter. 4. Almost every dialouge just feels the same. Constant usage of similar phrases and the way every dialogue ends as well is the same. Might want to experiment with dialogue to change stuff up because its hard NOT to notice dialogue feeling and sounding the same when I read them. Overall: I like the story, I just hope the Author puts more attention to detail like with Amber's existence and the MC meeting the president for the first time TWICE. Whether or not the author uses AI in their writing, I dont care, Just pay attention to your own writing and story and avoid these minor inconsistencies. They may be minor in your eyes, but they can really derail a reader from the story since they'll beq+q focusing on the thought of "Didnt he already meet the president though?". There's alot of timeskipping too, maybe thats the cause of these inconsistencies since the story is moving fast, very fast. Hope that from the chapter im currently on, I dont see anymore inconsistencies. what caused me to write this review was really because the MC's secretary wasnt Amber, who was formally employed at the end of a chapter, but a background character.

i think its more like he cares about walking out of his home and not smelling horse crap and being splashed with tainted water. he wants the common smell of horse crap to change basically

i'd expect this sort of behaviour if he knew this chick in his past life. but nah, this stranger he just met is obviously powerful and he doesnt even know if they're the type to negotiate first or kill first. "Haha, im going to steal this skillbook from her because I know she'll give me time to negotiate and definitely wont kill me right away for stealing a book she wanted, haha im smart like that because im the MC and all my previous knowledge and experiences can be ignored for this one scene of unnecesary action, haha"

I did not expect this MC to be stupid but this chapter proved me wrong. "Theres this unknown woman who I can certainly sense is extremely strong. I better steal from her, if things go wrong, I'll negotiate because she will surely not just kill me right away and start by talking, surely." like you were just betrayed by people you trust, where is his sense of caution. I know he doesnt value his life much, but you can have brain cells together with a desire to die... Hope he doesnt act like this again in the future.

Just like that, he just hands her the ring without even confirming if she has 200k? and for a long time auction, seems odd for the person to show the items to start off with "Ring of... something" they usually have that memorized before heading on stage