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BlackDragneel

BlackDragneel

Lv4

Something.

2021-01-10 JoinedGlobal
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  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel15 days ago
    Commented

    The concept was good, the writing quality was also good, the character's were relatively fleshed out but unfortunately the plot spiraled out of control and became very unrefined. You have almost everything down just work on your world building and plot and you'll be fine and dandy. I would suggest rewriting this book.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel15 days ago
    Posted

    Alot of mistakes were made, first of all the writing quality is very subpar as in the constant switching of perspective, lack of descriptive but attention grabbing sentences/paragraphs. The character design is very flawed, The MC's development is hazy and shaky at best and his charactert traits don't really pop. The rest of the character's are npcs at best. The murder of his family wasn't really impactful as we, the readers lacked the emotional connection with them. If you had 1 or 2 chapter's to build a connection with the family their deaths would draw us in instead of us being like whatever. The world background is basically nonexistent and the element's that made Harry Potter what it is, is stitched together with not a thread but by a rope. The pacing is inconsistent and goes as fast and as slow as it wants which makes the story very annoying and frankly very boring to read. The concept was good but the execution killed it with it feeling like something someone would come up with while high of their minds.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneela month ago
    Posted

    I initially went into the novel with very low expectations and just wanted to read something to pass the time but this book is one the best books I've read in the recent times filled with brainrot harem bs. The story feels alive and can actually go nect to neck with paid books. Keep up the awesome work and hope you don't make this book paid.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneela month ago
    Posted

    Shallow Characters, Writing is an absolute crapstorm, can't even understand what's being said and what's even going on. All in all feels like chewing on rubber thinking it's A5 wagyu.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneela month ago
    Commented

    its's good that you decided to do so. The cultivator aspect didn't really feel like cultivation at all and that made this really boring to read and kind of annoyed the hell out of me. there are alot of plot holes as well the power scaling didn't make any sense so I suggest work on that more. 1 suggestion I have is make him dimention hop to some other cultivation novel or novels and have the dxd dimension as the main dimension with a time dialation that way the cultivation aspect will be more consistent .

    This book has been deleted.
  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel2 months ago
    Commented

    The book is fun to read, just continue doing what you do.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel2 months ago
    Posted

    Translation quality is quite good but unfortunately the story lacks character. It's just the doulou story copied with a new mc. I typically don't like tang san/master follower type fanfics due to them just being copy pastes of the original story and compared to other great doulou fanfics this one can't even hold a candle to them. All in all just a very disappointing story that had alot of potential.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel3 months ago
    Posted

    Not gonna say much other than one word DAYUM.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel5 months ago
    Posted

    Very Disappointing start. I don't see this story going anywhere I like. Mc is literally a slave and it is even insinuated that he was plotted against by rias to be one. I guess the MC just replaced issei in the story and it will continue as cannon with minor differences. Very Interesting idea but a very disappointing and frankly annoying execution.

  • BlackDragneel
    BlackDragneel6 months ago
    Posted

    How this trash keeps getting popular is something I don't get. The writing is mtl quality. Story development is on some grass. Characters are held on gunpoint to interact or so it seems. Overall a heaping pile of cringy garbage that people somehow keep making popular. I am not above reading some bad writing and dialect and enjoying them but this I just couldn't enjoy.