Avirup_Das

is it me or the 2 chapters are being updated instead of 4? mann this is so good...wish there were 100 chapters daily to binge on

This is really good. Well written characters, i mean all of them. Not just the mc, its not like other stories where only the mc has brain and everyone else is stupid. The power progression is slow, but makes sense for the story. Used to feel a little weird about his fighting style of trading damage and being sorta crude though recent chapters are showing him experimenting and all. That also is a really good touch. No instant powerups and all. In fight there is real tension, and love how the story has turned out so far. Sometimes it feels a little slow and all, but thats understandable as it wouldnt make sense if the pace remained same throughout. Need to slow down and build up for the arc and all. Just wish he implements more genjutsu and all like with the water tentacles he did, maybe able to use genjutsu while doing 2nd form augmentation, though that one seems unlikely. Like i want my man to look cool while fighing. Style above all else :) jokes aside, this is good stuff. keep up the good work! and all the best!

I really liked the execution of the story. Especially the battles, its really well done. The potential of normal jutsus is shown and his ice release is executed well. There are some minor translation error here and there but excluding that its really really good. The mc is pretty good, no system bs, no arrogant mc who only thinks for themselves (at least till what i have read). Th grammer is good and the storytelling is engaging.

Well said, only people enlightened solely by social media can spout such drivel. But not that surprising. perhaps you could try your hand at stand up, might take you ages to get good enough to actually be funny but you got talent.

I like your story author. However, since his father's death you are showing how Ren is creating boundaries and "using" his friends, watching everything with indifference. I understand that after a close person's death people needs time to heal and all. But the idea of not having bonds because they are weakness and using everyone, always seeing things with indifference is soon going to be the same as literally 99% other fanfics where authors think that is somehow the best option. Without bonds soon the character will feel mechanical and like no emotional intelligence. It also wouldn't create hooks, tension while particularly tricky situations unfold. Forgive me if i seemed like ranting, but a lot of authors make their character cold, indifferent, dark, etc etc. and not always it makes sense. Especially here he felt love with his parents, had friends. Instead of weakness it could be shown as powerful motivation to not loose them and improve more. The other characters could also have significant growth, and together with Ren, could dunno have more impact than just some one man show. Just my opinion that can make the story more engaging and real. Nobody will become Madara level powerful by the time they are in early teens. You said so that realistic growth will be there. Rivalry, and helping each other grow is sorta more feasible than one dude becoming a mechanical machine and training non stop and using everyone to bis advantage for years until he feels ready to face the world, which can take decade and still me me tally sane. I jst wanted to convey my thoughts, as i wouldn't have bothered writing so much if i hadn't been hooked. The chapters of bonding and the subsequent couple chapter where Toshiro died and the funeral and all, how he said his mother doesn't need to be strong all the time, how his mother and father met, all these were really nice, i actually felt the emotions. In anycase, good luck with your story.

yea thats exactly what i said at the end😅

unpredictable true...but one thing predictable now is Fujin will let anyone die if stepping up will involve more effort than just spamming his wind techniques. Everything he has learnt is meant to be used wearing his mask and that organization thingy. Also predictable is him being detached from the world he is in... well dont take it too seriously, maybe i am ranting cus i was disappointed :( its the author's story, he will do what he wants

why broo

In writing comedy is not easy to pull off. The author clearly has this aspect mastered. My only gripe is how he is doing wandless magic, then just combined magic. Wands are a big part of Harry potter lore and while wandless magic for relatively simple stuff is possible for powerful wizards like Dumbles and voldy, they still rely on their wands. So whenever any fanfics put in their mc doing wandless magic while still in their school days ( i remember there was a next level fic where the mc was four or five years old and wandlessly did patronous charm. lol) it just breaks the immersion for me, being a huge potterhead and all. Still excluding that the story is funny.

I like the start. The mc seems to be slightly bookish and soft spoken. But thats a good thing i feel. I jst think that when u started u implied the mc had been a person who came to terms with his solitude after he started reading books. Just my opinion, but maybe try to add some relations and bonds slowly, as that will root him in this reality than thinking about the world as a book, while also adding depth to the story. Also (my opinion again) please dont make the Mc super powerful and be able to do stuff that grown wizards cant do by the time he is halfway into his first year. Doesn't make sense and breaks the immersion totally. Maybe because of his love for books and all he will be rsther erudite and a bit ahead of the curve, like some spells of one year in advance. Not too much. Potions are severely underratted so you can maybe make the mc explore that or other magical fields( that amkes sense). please dont make the mc master alchemy and runes by the time he is first year. As j said before, it doesn't make sense and breaks immersion. And lastly, just my opinion again, based on the vibe the mc gave, he seemed kind hearted. Please dont change that. Too many fics for some reason make Dumbledore into some villan and there is a growing trend of making villan mc, who will do anything, no proper relationships or motives that explain his drive except that they look at the world as if its a game, and do random stuff, sometimes evil. Without proper buildup showing all that, breaks immersion and seems dumb (just my opinion). In any case all the best for your story. Its not easy to create something, and i eidh you success in your endeavors.