Bethany_Smith_1583
of reading
3
Read books
Badges
3Moments
6
Bethany_Smith_15833yrCommentedNot sure why you are adding a hypen...just nine months.
Sometimes it made me wonder what it would be like to have such a family and sometimes it made me miss my mother, even if she never acted like a mother. I wanted her to see her grandchild. I would surely visit her someday. Even if she wasn't a good mother she was still my mother. The woman who gave birth to me and carried me for nine-month. Now being pregnant myself I knew the difficulties she went through.- Bethany_Smith_15833yrCommented
"Three months later" (no hypen & pluralize the word month).
Three-month later…. - Bethany_Smith_15833yrCommented
This comment "kick him where the sun doesn't shine" does not fit with the rest of the book's theme of castles and princesses...its a modern phrase & a bit juvenile.
As soon as they arrived she would kick him where the sun never shines. - Bethany_Smith_15833yrCommentedCh 84 Chapter 24
- Bethany_Smith_15833yrCommentedCh 81 Chapter 21
- Bethany_Smith_15833yrCommented
This story had me hooked from the 1st paragraph! Interesting story line, mysterious secrets to unravel and I'm interested in the "Return of the Devil's Son". One suggestion for the author...get someone to proof-read. There are a lot of punctuation, grammar & spelling errors. Some errors were in the middle of intense scenes that take away from the imagery. It is always "anyway", never "anyways" otherwise it sounds a bit juvenile. Klara's name was even misspelled once and I was lost for a second thinking "wait, who is Kara?" The last scene is supposed to be serious and Pierre says "Look who one his knees". The power of that line was totally lost.
Ch 60 Chapter 60