Jacquelynn_Heller
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Jacquelynn_Heller3yrReplied to jikanyotomareCh 5 THE SOUL (2)- Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
Simple mistakes constantly are destroying this story!
The girl pulled her hoodie over her head to protect her from getting wet, even though that wasn't going to be much of a help. She let her long straight black hair fall to the side of her face, making it hard for people to see her pale complexion. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrReplied to Jacquelynn_HellerCh 5 THE SOUL (2)
- Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
This could have been an amazing story. However, the grammar is atrocious. I find myself trying to understand the mess of words, becoming more and more angry. Half the paragraphs make absolutely no sense, at all. Do yourself a favor and find an editor that is actually suited for the task. Your using words out of context not understanding their true meaning. it is like this book was written in another language and haphazardly translated to English.
Ch 5 THE SOUL (2) - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
Jesus this grammar
The noisy boy grabbed his phone out from his pocket and punched a number, on the third rings someone picked up the phone and Calleb talk in well-mannered voice that didn't suit his usual self. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
you really need an editor that understans grammar. All the mistakes are ruining the story.
Raphael knew very well that no one could talk otherwise when Torak's wolf was in control. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
However, Torak ignored Calleb's concern, as his eyes were fixed on the road before him.
However Torak didn't heed his voice as his eyes fixed on the road before his eyes. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
????? makes no sense.
The last time Torak's wolf took control when there was a pack that shed of blood. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
very confusing first paragraph.
Many angry horns from cars around could be heard from other cars around that were forced to stop to avoid a possible multiple-vehicle collision crash. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrPosted
This story will grab your attention from the get go. The story line is an original Alpha Werewolf type. There are some spelling errors but not enough to destroy the story completely.
This book has been deleted. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
*former glory
This book has been deleted. - Jacquelynn_Heller3yrCommented
*staring
This book has been deleted.