Jay_Exile
A lazy, bald old man who enjoys reading adventure, martial arts and cyber punk stories. Also avid listener to drum&bass and synth wave.
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Jay_Exile1yrCommentedHimself and he needs to be replaced by herself and she since it's referring to Irene.
Little by little, Princess Irene finally managed to lift the ball. But she couldn't move it from that spot and instead dropped it again. Princess Irene took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She tried to stabilize himself as he felt the blood in his body churning from the suppression of the vest.- Jay_Exile1yrCommented
I believe that you need to use she here instead of he because it's referring to Irene here not Ziel.
Princess Irene fell silent after she heard Ziel's words because everything he said was true. Didn't he participate in the training to become stronger because he was weak? - Jay_Exile1yrCommented
Princess Fritz, lol! Prince Fritz, ok.
"Ah, that is…" Princess Fritz wanted to say that her sister was fighting the earth dragon emperor. But his father raised his hand to stop him. - Jay_Exile1yrCommented
It should be him not her.
Mu Xiaojin didn't know what to say. Yun Qingchen, who was in her arms, suddenly moved at this moment. His two chubby little hands stretched out desperately and waved in Yun Feng's direction. Mu Xiaojin smiled when she saw that. "Xiao Feng, Chenchen wants you to hold her!" - Jay_Exile1yrPosted
Not a story I expected to read but found it enjoyable read nonetheless. Needs a comedy tag and definitely is a possible romcom. The MC is vicious yet more humane than most characters in this novel. Honestly think that this web novel is fantastic enough for more chapters but only time can tell. I highly recommend reading this web novel and enjoying the short 40 chapter binge ride. Adding this web novel to my reading list.
- Jay_Exile2yrCommented
It should be sister not brother in this context.
"Prince Ozkar, I know that your intentions are good. But whether my brother wants to teach at the academy or not is up to her." Zenoa looked at Prince Ozkar and said seriously. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
Young instead of Yong.
"Yong friend, let's talk nicely!" If this continued, his Li family's guards would be gone! - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
It should be She not He starting this sentence
"He is the student with the best grades in this academy's entrance examination. Not only smart, but she is also powerful and very charming. I must admit that she is prettier than my aunt, Princess Cattleya." Princess Seira answered in a low voice so that the people around her wouldn't hear, especially Azalia. She didn't want Azalia to be angrier because Princess Seira secretly talked about her with Princess Freya. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
Niece should be used here instead of nephew
"I'm not aware of such personal matters either! If you're curious, why don't you ask Ken directly? Didn't you say that you were his acquaintance?" Princess Seira answered frantically. Although she is Kalya's nephew, their relationship is not that close until Kalya wants to discuss her personal relationship. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
He should be used here instead of she
"That is…as I said, she is the lover of my aunt, Cattleya Venetia. I thought Princess Irene knew it too when I saw that she wasn't surprised after hearing what I said." Princess Seira heavily repeated her words and looked at Princess Irene. She wanted to drag Princess Irene with her because Princess Seira didn't want to deal with Azalia alone. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
Pronoun He should be used here instead of She. Grammar error.
"Because she is my aunt's lover!" Princess Seira accidentally answered Azalia's question. But she quickly covered her mouth with both hands after realizing what she had said to Azalia. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
I thought Ziel was chanting for a spell but that translation is a lot better.
"Hmm…as expected, the barrier in this place is powerful. Pada awalnya saya ingin memasuki kastil secara diam-diam, tetapi itu tampaknya tidak mungkin. Pada tingkat ini, bukankah lebih baik jika saya membuat keributan besar?" Ziel muttered and suddenly raised one of his hands. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
Ziel shouldn't be used here, instead it should be Ken.
"I'm sorry, miss. But I saw this book first. Can you let it go?" Ziel spoke politely to the girl. - Jay_Exile2yrCommented
Needs to be translated. Jumping from English to another language and then back to English is confusing.
Crack after crack formed in the ice wall. Penghalang itu tidak akan bertahan lama menerima serangan itu. But Princess Cordelia had expected it. - Jay_Exile2yrCommentedCh 153 Chapter 55
- Jay_Exile2yrPosted
Was surprised by this trial read. This web novel has great potential however because it's a trial read my assessment will be half biased. One not enough chapters to display how great this novel is. Two last few chapters up to chapter 40 the pronoun usage was confusing when used to describe Qin Yue our male lead. It keep switching back and forth from he to she, that was weird in my opinion and should be looked over again for such grammar errors. Third thing I noticed is that the usage of the transmigration system was so spare that I almost forgot about it due to the great storytelling and interactive moving plot. Fourth thing I believe that is necessary is a mecha description chapter of the mechas for a better imagery. Overall this novel isn't bad for a binge read and I highly recommend this to mecha fans.
- Jay_Exile2yrReplied to Salazar_Grimm_4317Ch 119 Chapter 21
- Jay_Exile2yrCommentedCh 343 Revelation (6)