CARLO_TRESOLDI
of reading
371
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Ok, you are ok, but not so much, first thing: W-A-K-I-N-G!!!!! not wakeing! Second thing: as long as you do short chapters, do not change POW, third thing you try to explaun things in detail but end up repeating yourself to no end, you use "this" and other pronouns too much
ok, this story is fairly young so I can't say much about it, but there's a lot of potential, up until now ir's a good story, it's about frozen, a theme that isn't used much on webnovel, or better yet, at all, and the only flaw I've seen until now is the presence of little grammatical errors that can be fixed without too much trouble, apart from that I only have good things to say, and I am truly happy that I discovered this story while it's still in the early stages, I can't wait to know how the story progresses, and I recommend this story to everyone who is reading this review
wow, this story is coming along really nicely, I was pleasanty surprised when i started reading it, beacouse this story truly was outside my expectations, it's refreshing. you should just pay attention since you made some errors, sometimes you write "he" and not "she", and sometimes you use present simple when you should use other tenses, still this story is good and most importantly different, it's refreshing when compared to the same old webnovels I usually read. also do you have an upload schedule? I'm corius how much time I'll generally have to wait between chapters
nah, first you test if there's a tutorial
Gasoline? Really? Not oil? Gasoline is pretty modern, it doesn't make any sense, the system would pobably make it pay something like 1000 dp per liter, unlsess it's a very inconsistent system, and why the 3rd floor isn't in fire or something?
why it's machine translated?! The strory seems good, but i can't read it! I literally got a headache after 5 minutes, and after 10 i couldn't understand anything beacouse all pronouns are "I" and i simply couldn't understand who was talking. Like i said, it seems a good story, but the translation is the trash of the trash.