Basil_Wolfe
Lv1
I'm just someone who loves to write.
2020-12-24 JoinedGlobal
0.3h
of reading
4
Read books
Badges
3Moments
5
Basil_Wolfe3yrPostedThis seems pretty interesting so far, but I have to say: you really do need to look for synonyms for your words. In your first "chapter" (I use quotes since you said you wouldn't call it a chapter), you said the word dog so many times, it got incredibly dull. I'd recommend using the word canine every once in a while, or maybe call it a mutt since the cats would have a negative connotation toward it. The grammar was okay with minor mistakes here and there. I think I can see myself continuing to read this book as it updates.
- Basil_Wolfe3yrCommented
JoJo reference-
After a while, he calmed down and started to clean up the little pieces of glass, noticing that a piece had landed on top of his book. As Quinn removed the piece of glass, a drop of blood from his thumb landed on top of the book. - Basil_Wolfe3yrCommented
me 24/7
"Why does the world hate me?" - Basil_Wolfe3yrCommented
lol ah yes assault the glasses that should fix them
Getting out of his bed, he started sauntering towards his desk. He picked up his glasses that were still slightly broken and decided that he needed to fix them. He noticed that one of the lenses was slightly out of place, and tried to punch it back into its frame. - Basil_Wolfe3yrCommented
spooky book time
He walked towards a cabinet, immediately pulling a drawer open which accommodated a single book. It was a large and thick hard-bound book, weighing about half a kilo. The front cover of the book was in a colour that mimicked a lighter shade of blood. In the centre, the lonesome fronts of an upper and lower jaw bone could be seen, both coloured in the swampy shade of brown. The upper jaw sort of had four separated fangs. Meanwhile, the lower one had two sharp teeth on the two far ends on the overhead and five evenly spaced underneath.