giant98682
Lv14
I am a aspiring writer, I will hopefully be given the opportunity to share with you my novel "The coming light" in the future. Always open to other opinions and feedback. Thank you all for reading.
2020-12-20 JoinedUnited States
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giant986821yrCommented2nd sentence 4th line (he took the step forward) should read ( he took a step forward) the word the is not needed
After infusing the Destruction Law with his spear, he pulled his hand back and took the stance. His body lowered a little as he took the step forward and put extra force in his hand. Because he was inside the water, his speed was slower but with additional force, he was able to pull a powerful attack.- giant986821yrCommented
3rd line last word to 4th line 3rd word, the sentence should read (they have no choice) the wording with (they got no choice) is improper grammar.
The land was connected. Although Qin split the continent, he didn't separate it from the ground. They got no choice but to call for Zhao Tan's help. They were thinking of calling Lan Ming but they realized Zhao Tan was much more suitable since he could pierce through the ground and inflict long-range damage. - giant986821yrCommented
6th line down should have a (the) after Shakier. It should look like this (the shakier *the* ground became)
The slash collided against the ground, grinding the earth into dust while moving down. There was nothing that could block the slash but the deeper it got, the shakier ground became. The sword went to the deepest part until it finally come down from the ground. - giant986822yrCommentedCh 922 Learning the Truth
- giant986822yrCommentedCh 907 Returning to the Surface
- giant986823yrCommented
Did you mean "the pale coldness of his body" the and would be redundant
Alas, the pale and coldness of his body indicated that he was no longer of the living. The two palace maids quickly reached the inner court's sewers and were about to throw the body into it when they felt it tremble within their hands.