since there is a comparison with the other girls, you should have written it "Lucien was generating the MOST energy,"

Thanks for the comment, and sorry for the late response! :)

(I apologize if my corrections are offensive to you, I just want to help in any way I can, whether it be by correcting your grammatical errors, or changing the sentences to fit more cleanly, I love this series and I would love for more people to find out about it, but stories that aren't good in the grammar apartment won't succeed even if their stories are complete bangers.) this sentence can be made to be even more smooth by adding although in the front, and erasing the but and adding still after she: "although Oya's nature had always been violent, she still feel a special kind of pleasure..."

although mentioning a variety of weapons can help in immersing the reader into the story, if said weapons were from totally different areas of the world without justification, it will cause a dissonance to form which will achieve the opposite of what it was intended to do. if this sentence were to be "the melee troops training in the field had an assortment of weapons to choose from; swords and axes made in portgreen, while more exotic weapons like the katana, were imported from the alliance. In addition to this, knives and daggers served as secondary weapons"

just go to the site, my link is broken

I'm noticing an increase in the use of then, when another word should have been there, in this case, it should have been "When the conference was over," A word of advice: if you want the readers to be more invested in your story, which translates to how popular it could be, using standard British or American English would go a long way. If you can't actively learn how to improve, I suggest using khan academy(or a site that serves a similar purpose). https://***.khanacademy.org/humanities/grammar

assuming both tried to at least love her, I'd really say the queen was kind of a jerk towards her husband, and even if she didn't love him, at least treat him with some respect.(his family got her out of a tough situation)

the tags is a word that describes the relationships between members of a familial unit

I've just read the review and i think i put too much focus on the author, so let me make a short one for the reader: Read it for the ******, stay for the story. Goodbye, have a good day

I've been reading this story for a while, and it is one I take great pleasures in reading, I would normally be uninterested in writing reviews or voting with power stones, but I think, for the first novel I've read on this site, It deserves that much: This review, is both for the author and reader, I want to be as honest as possible, so there will be criticism, I don't know, if the author will read this, but if you do, consider reading. Let's start with point 1, this story is good at what it does, appeal to fantasy. Many stories written online are ones that appeal to things people want: Power, fame, a beautiful person who loves you(man or woman depending on the story). This story is, by no means perfect, it has slight grammatical mistakes(I mean as in composition, sometimes it sounds wonky, but overall understandable enough for the average reader to have a good time), and the actions and reactions of the characters in the story wouldn't line up with what you expect to be "normal". This brings me to another point, it is great at giving excuses for why things happen in the story. For example: the bloody rose, this is a phenomenal plot device, used to explain the main character's more strange tendencies when it comes to the women he loves, why his power increases at such a fast speed, yet also foreshadowing the dangers, this allows the author to essentially put a timer on the Main character, just have a subtle reference to the bloody rose, make Lucien frown and say "We must Hurry to X... or I may succumb to the bloody rose" then have him become more powerful, and the readers would understand. "the only reason he gets as powerful as he does is because of the influence of the bloody rose". Basically allowing him to have his fun, but also a good excuse to push the narrative forward when the author feels like it. Now on to some criticisms(I'm only going to list those that can be fixed, so things like how easily some women fall in chapter x or chapter y is not going to be included), wasted potential of the alliance. I feel like this story could be turned up a notch, give Lucien and his girls a day at the beach, then cut to a mansion somewhere in the alliance, Have some shady characters discuss plans, make one of them mention in passing, " Oh, that one fellow that took over Portgreen" (Note: this should be very subtle, preferably have it at the middle of the discussion, while they talk about things like an impending war with the empire because of the presence of the light envoy, or make one of them leak info about discovering another world, something like that or to that effect). Doing this will achieve two things; allow for a smoother transition to the fight with the alliance(due to one of your notes, you mention in chapter 240-ish, Lucien would already have romantic relationships with his other sister, the light envoy). So have him lead both the empire, and portgreen to fight with the alliance), and more importantly, make some actual trouble for the MC, I haven't read the patreon chapters yet, so from my position in the story, and where most readers are too, is that MC is like a marie sue character, and just like typical stories, it gets boring if you let it repeat(I'm not saying you shouldn't repeat, just that if you're not able to veil the repeating storylines good enough, it can get boring). So if you make the alliance(or one of their clans) possess some ancient artifact from a superior realm that summons an army of soldiers made out of terracotta(this would be best as this would force Lucien to think strategically over long stretches of time allowing the reader to feel the intensity of the situation rather than some artifact that kills people in one hit). Finally, You have to temporarily put him in a position of weakness before it's too late. I've seen other authors do this near the end of their story, and that just makes it a bad plot device. if you're going to do it, make sure it's in it's infancy, when the reader doesn't already have this idea of the MC being god of plot armour, do something like a side effect of the bloody rose, something that kills his ability to get stronger until he eats some fruit or meet a certain person(preferably one of his sister), then make him to rely on his wives to do it, this will achieve 2 things, it will put importance on the wives, show clearly that the wives aren't just decorations for him to make love to, but actual useful people, and furthermore, this allows a smooth introduction of one more sister. that's about it, sorry if it's too long and you got bored, but it's my feelings, thanks for reading!