This is really surprisingly good, as far as writing quality goes, for a new author, and pretty competent for an webnovel author in general. There might be a few iffy commas and questionable word choices, but still: great job!

From what I've read so far, this story seems to be a very well written and promising start for a new author. I'd recommend you read this if you like fantasy, and are a stickler for proper grammar in your webnovels, but also just of you like rich worldbuilding and original takes on a few character archetypes. Sorry if this review is incoherent, but it's the best I've got in me currently.