Haven't read it just wanted to let people know the character on the cover is the pulse blade pilot from Titanfall/Titanfall 2 Play the game plz!

same

thank you I was getting annoyed with all the "retard" comments.

lit

Is there anyway I can talk to you?

Worldbuilding is pretty good, But my main problem is I hate the mc because sounds like a predator when talking about his 10-year-old sister. It's decently funny and enjoyable to read.

The main criticism I can make is its Waaaaaaaaay too rushed and I don't think the author understands the show don't tell rule. the author needs to slow down and SHOW me how his father was a good man not tell me. all the small things the MC mentions his dad did for him in that list the author needs to expand on them by giving them scenes. I know that is hard to do but it will make his death so much more impactful.

just doing this so mabe someone will read it. did hhhhhhgfdddddfyuiiikjbfccvvbnjjjjyffggj<>iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkk jo k jk