IvernedIt
Lv1
I like to write draw, read and play games. Working on two differnt fantasy series at the moment and want all the feedback I can get.
2020-10-30 JoinedUnited States
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IvernedIt6 years agoCommentedoozing is like a more evil presence description, I don't think you should it when describing the rabbits.
This paragraph has been deleted.- IvernedIt6 years agoCommented
you use "oozing a lot" maybe think of another word like "originating" or emanating or emanated
This paragraph has been deleted. - IvernedIt6 years agoCommented
I see you do a lot of telling and not showing. Try to have the situation happen in real time or have just happened instead of explaining what happened or about to happen
This paragraph has been deleted. - IvernedIt6 years agoCommented
canvas sounds better than sheet of paper
This paragraph has been deleted. - IvernedIt6 years agoCommented
stroke of a paintbrush if you are gonna go with the painter route
