DjxCarma
Hi, I'm a writher and graphic designer. I mostly write fantasy stories that allows me to comprehend what my mind wants to share with the world.
Writing
of reading
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Read books
It took me awhile to read this all. Had to go back and fort to understand each moment. The story is good, but the writhing needs a few adjustments. Then there another thing that picked up my interest and was the multiple ways of the narrative going back and fort from third person to first person and it becomes too confusing from time to time. But aside from that, the story was great so far as I could tell.
To be honest, the story is alright, but it is hard to notice the dialogue in some chapters. The narrative has a good flow, and each character has their moments to shine. How the story goes off from the start seems like a quest guide on what’s the current aim for the mc to achieve. Aside from that, some sections amongst the chapters could have used a lot of work, but it is still a good story to read.
There are two parts that I liked in this chapter that made me like it completely. The first around the exercise bit while the second is around when the mc got captured, adding more plot into the story. / Hay dos partes que me gustaron en este capítulo que me hicieron gustar por completo. El primero alrededor del en el momento de ejercicio, mientras que el segundo es alrededor de cuando el protagonita fue capturado, agregando más trama a la historia.
With honesty. The story is fantastic, and I enjoyed reading it. Please keep up the great work and don’t stop writhing. The story starting out from a vr game is truly interesting and I can’t wait for the character development.
I shall give my support. I'm sorry if I didn't respond in the moment this message got to me.
I must say that the story is very interesting. The quality of your writhing it is great. And I felt heartbroken when it all went to the old traditions. But as for the rest, I like how the characters are expressed, and that I know that the story will be developing into something far more to other expectations. And also, keep up the good work because you just gained another follower!!