The grammar needs some refining, and I would like to say the ideas of this story have potential, the descriptions of actions are lacking, there is more tell them show, I recommend trying to visualize in perfect order what happened and describe it only after you can see it in your head completely like you are watching it right now, and everyone else can't see it. I will continue reading on, because I like the ideas, and hope to see the authors development into a better writer of his stories

it is a good epiphany moment, realizing he is rushing head long in without really understanding what he was really doing, he fell for his own miner success, let himself make mistakes not to unlike his past, and did not well protect his future witch is his main goal. Yet now you see him faced with that knowledge.

2 pages of mess ups that made it cost more. hmmmmmm. one must wounder if he knew??

please use the announcement tool to say all that it makes your pages cost more because of extra words on the page. The tool is available to you, because of your level. it would be much appreciated. ty

The word advice is the correct way to say it and write it. It is considered plural and singular at same time.

it needs to be fixed I'm should be thw word in caps looks like In. I thought i would help out, this time.

spoilers man not every one has read everything that's hes put out yet still reading today. lol no worries, it will still be a food read.

I cant believe it this is the first vampire story I cant stop reading. keep up the good work, the way your character's development moves feels natural and not forced.

See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon

sorry it sent before I finished writing and spell checking my phone is a little tuchy.

when I read the title I first thought I am tired of vampire this and that, yet it was at the top. So i said alright lets see why. Thank you for an incredibly original story when it comes to vampires. The world is solid and tangible, the characters are believable, and the story line is captivating I find myself on edge waiting for more. If I don't see someone in the future turning this into a show I will bo shocked. this authore has talent