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Allivonk

Allivonk

Lv2

I'm an aspiring author with a dream of being published tbh also hmu if you want to exchange feedback!

2020-09-23 JoinedCanada
-d

Writing

5h

of reading

9

Read books

Badges

4

Moments

17
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    Im so excited for what will happen next đŸ˜±

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Replied to violet_sool

    That's so sweet :'o

    Ch 11 11 - Lilly
    altalt
    Survival of the Fittest
    Sci-fi · Allivonk
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Posted

    The dialogue is getting better and better and I love how the story is picking up! I can't wait to read more [img=recommend] My favourite thing will always be the way you describe the setting of the story.

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    That description tho :O

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Replied to violet_sool

    Thank you thank you (: Yeah I made it a bit better worded so it's not confusing haha. I appreciate your criticism

    altalt
    Survival of the Fittest
    Sci-fi · Allivonk
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    Your descriprion skills have really improved!! The fighting scene betwee Vaos and Vulcan was super entertaining to reas, but i find myself like Vulcan more (; hahah

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    The katana!!!!!! ah what a great weapon to introduce

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    The description here... Damn, I love it !!![img=recommend]

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    Why is Vulcan kinda daddy (;

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    I acrually really like how you switch POV’s here, its super smooth

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    Oooooh petrichor 😍😍 i kinda love that

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Posted

    Your writing style is really good! I like the emotions that you can feel in your writing! I think that you have potential (: I look forward to the next chapter[img=update]

    altalt
    Always Her
    TV · happy_feet22
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    Damn :.( Got me feelin bad for Brook!! I like your story and you have a strong setting and storyline :)

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Always Her
    TV · happy_feet22
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Posted

    There were a few grammar mistakes, but none of those really matter! Your story is very captivating and draws you in. You immediately start to see through the eyes of Edward and Alexander. I really like the way that you introduce the setting and describe the scenery and atmosphere! I think if you maybe put in a bit more about what Alex is feeling or looking like (cringing or like smirking) it would be even more amazing than it already is! Damn though, I'm really excited for the next chapter :O [img=recommend][img=update]

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    Kinda loving Edward's attitude [img=faceslap]

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Commented

    I'm loving the way that you introduce the scene and setting. It's really good description and puts you in the place where they are too :o

    This book has been deleted.
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Replied to violet_sool

    Thank you so much!! I appreciate you reading this and your input (: My favourite is definitely Tristan as well haha

    altalt
    Survival of the Fittest
    Sci-fi · Allivonk
    detail