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dysphoricThea

dysphoricThea

Lv10
2020-09-22 JoinedUnited States
-d

Writing

4.2h

of reading

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5

Moments

5
  • dysphoricThea
    dysphoricThea1yr
    Commented

    this story is all over the place. It seems there are missing chapters. When did she find out about Emma and Sin? How did she find out? When did Sin and Artemisa have intimate? kind of frustrating.

    Ch 21 22
    altalt
    Alpha Sin
    Fantasy · Jay Mhekzy
    detail
  • dysphoricThea
    dysphoricThea1yr
    Commented

    I think you meant meters. not centimeters

    I didn't understand why he wanted me to walk in front of him all of a sudden because he had mentioned the two centimetres distances away from each other's rules yesterday. He even said something similar as soon as I woke up.
    altalt
    Alpha Sin
    Fantasy · Jay Mhekzy
    detail
  • dysphoricThea
    dysphoricThea1yr
    Commented

    how you dance around any conversations about your life outside of college. outside of North Carolina.

    "No, you are getting on my nerves with how you pretend we don't have the conversations. If it were up to you we would never work through any of our problems. If you don't want to talk about it, we don't regardless of how I feel about it. I get it you're broken and your family is mean to you, but you are an adult now. I just want to meet them and move on with our lives," I pointed out. "Let me into your life. I want your past, present and future. Not just these scraps you are boxing up and pretending is a full gift." I walk out of the kitchen into the living room. If I stay I will end up saying something we both will regret. I look around for my shoes.
    altalt
    Lies I Tell Myself
    Fantasy · dysphoricThea
    detail
  • dysphoricThea
    dysphoricThea1yr
    Commented

    ugh. oh,

    "Ugh oh please you're being dramatic," she bickered, turning back to face me. Her face says it all. We are done talking about this or at least she is done.
    altalt
    Lies I Tell Myself
    Fantasy · dysphoricThea
    detail
  • dysphoricThea
    dysphoricThea1yr
    Commented

    good chapter. I like the premise so far. one suggestion, don't use "also" so much.

    Ch 2 2
    altalt
    Alpha Sin
    Fantasy · Jay Mhekzy
    detail