I've only read chapter 1, but I'm a very big fan so far! The horror elements that you have and your fluency mixed with those elements make for very haunting images! Obviously, since this is an updated story, you can't have a chapter be too bland, because no-one will bite, but I think you could have been a little bit slower with your pacing in the first chapter? Maybe stretch out the "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" warning until the end of the first chapter, and added some more of the banter between you and your coworkers? I just think it's a little bit jarring to have two themes that are so polarized in the same chapter. Obviously, you don't need to take my word as gospel, but that's just my two cents. Your characterisation is excellent. I can sense that you're going to be smart enough to make each person have their unique personality! With Madeliene being a cynical cat lady and Sasha being an anxious mess, you were very good at not only telling us that these were their traits, but you also showed and made these traits consistent throughout the chapter. For example, Sasha was the one with the panic attack at the end of Chapter 1. Your descriptive language is a little flawed at describing sets and places, but brilliant at specifics. The dialogue of James explaining what happened with the man and child was haunting, as I stated earlier. But when describing the bigger picture, the aquarium doesn't have any real personality. Little things like saying it was stainless steel, or if it had rusted edges on parts of the tanks where the water couldn't reach really go a long way in giving this place, which I imagine is going to be the main location, some form of personality. I can't wait to see this product finished! -spaghetti noodle Ben