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lilGoat

lilGoat

Lv2
2020-09-14 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

1.3h

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64
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Posted

    Off to a great start. The worldbuilding is very interesting. I like the mutating creatures and I'm curious to see what happened to AX-10. I was a little confused at first who the MC was because of the abundance of characters, but the moment ML showed up it became very obvious. The action sequence was fun and I just hope the smut will live up to the hype. I leave a plate of cookies for author. Good job.

    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented

    I'll be like Assu and just spam a gif of support

    Ch 4 ravine, on the move
    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented

    Sleeeeek....

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    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented
    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented
    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented

    A big...

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    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented
    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented

    I feel like you have a tendency to over-describe some things (I do that a lot too tbh). But I thought this last two lines were a good example, because it sometimes bogs down the flow of your writing. You used around 2 sentences to say her frame is strong, or not meek/not frail. Is this detail that important to emphasis with so many words? I feel like it could be done effectively with a single word. I would dedicate two sentences to describe more important details.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat2yr
    Commented

    SLICKED!! I can't with this word!!! You know this phenomenon when something has been pointed out to you and you suddenly see it EVERYWHERE? O_O This word...Not just in your works but just in general... I can't...

    The door bangs open. The man who enters has midnight black hair and a startling pair of cold, black eyes. He dons a green combat shirt slicked with sweat and blood. He blocks the exit, and no one dares to get past him.
    altalt
    Moon Theory (BL)
    LGBT+ · yiyuehua
    detail
  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    Lol, I'm glad you enjoyed the play I wrote XD It was really fun, I like rhyming so much. ;3 And he's not exactly allergic to wine, alcohol is a poison so a regenerating body won't let poison effect him XD I went a little sciencey with it ^^"

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
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    Fantasy · lilGoat
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    I'm glad you enjoyed some of the insight into his character :3 Thanks for all the support <3

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    Fantasy · lilGoat
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    Well, this chapter mostly served to show some backstory and that he's humoring Lev more. I hope the next few of his POV shine a little bit more light on his character. Altho, grumpy kitty is pretty good.

    This chapter has been deleted.
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    Fantasy · lilGoat
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    They're so pretty aren't they??! I'm very pleased with my spontaneous purchase :D

    This chapter has been deleted.
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    I feel like I'm gonna steal the nickname "confused bean" and use it for Lev at some point. XD I hope you don't mind, but if you ever see it appear in the book know it's yours, lol.

    This chapter has been deleted.
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    I'm glad you enjoyed it. The spiritualism in these chapters is based more on Kabbalah (aka Language of Branches) than the Bible, so I was wondering if it won't be too jarring for readers. Thank you for the support! ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

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    Fantasy · lilGoat
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  • lilGoat
    lilGoat3yr
    Replied to Aryna_Stan

    Thank you for the support! I like your new avi very cute photo -^.^- Also, if you haven't had the chance to reread the rewritten first chapter, I will hint that it would be good to do so before next Monday! ;]

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    Fantasy · lilGoat
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