Oh okay. This is the first time I actually saw it like this. Keep doing your thing if that is what you are used to.

Weird as in I never heard of taco rice and where I live, tacos is the main food here.

*videogames

Oh okay. Thanks for answering.

And you are too wordy on some sentences, that don't need it, so it can be clearer for readers. Maybe try grammarly? It is a good helper, our eyes do not catch everything like other people's eyes.

*not bad (sorry writing in comments in WN is terrible) I play videosgames, I'm a gamer, but I never played LoL. And so could other people who read your story. You have to add more descriptions for people to know about the games background; not everyone who read gaming novels play games. That is why I put that. (I hope I didn't sound mean).

Writing Quality: 3/5 Your writing is fine, but you have problems with punctuation, especially not using commas when needed; it throws the flow of the story off. Update Stability: 5/5 I give that to everyone. Story Development: 3.5/5 (rounds to four) The plotline is good, the time skip threw me off, and the pacing is okay. Character Design: 3.5/5 (rounds to four) There is no connection to the MC, I feel like I don't know much about her, except for vague things are what you give. I feel there is not much depth to her. But, she does have personality and not bad. World Background: 3/5 I barely know anything about your world. It is interesting and not bad, but I don't know much. I feel like it needs to be more descriptions about your world. You are on a good track, keep up the good work!

'My' needs to be capitalized.

Writing Quality: 3.5/5 (rounds to 4) Not bad, but needs some work. Easily fixable by going back and rereading your story. Update Stability: 5/5 I put that for everyone. Story Development: 3.5/5 (rounds to four) It is okay, a bit over the place at times, but I do enjoy your pacing. It doesn't go too fast nor is it slow paced. The plotline is interesting. Character Design: 3/5 You give background of the character with descriptions, even adding in his emotions, but I feel a disconnect with the MC, I feel no depth to him. It is there, but not enough for me to immerse with the MC. World Background: 3/5 You tell us whats in the world, and how they do things, but I feel no real descriptions or in-depth information on what the world is. I might be missing something because I only read more than half the chapters (skipped what I told you I would), so it just be me not connecting with story. It is not a bad story, there is potential to it. Keep up the good work!

Why do you use dots with money and not commas? I'm just curious.

Writing Quality: 3.5/5 (rounds to 4) Your writing is not made, there are a few mistakes and the wording is either too much added words or worded weirdly. Update Stability: 5/5 I give that too everyone Story Development: 4/5 Not bad; the pacing and plotline is good. Your story is very interesting, and the first chapter is hookable which is important. Character Design: 4/5 I like your MC, but I still feel a disconnect to him. World Background 3.5/5 (rounds to four) I like the world behind your story, but I feel like I don't know much pertaining to your story; especially with the game.

Writing Quality: 3.5/5 (rounds to 4) There are mistakes in writing that can be fixed by rereading the story. Update Stability: 5/5 I put that for everyone. Story Development: 3.5/5 (rounds to four) Your pacing is good and I like the plotline, but I don't really feel the thriller part at all. Character Design: 3.5/5 (round to four) I feel like I don't know enough about your MC, but your characters are nice, and I do enjoy the MC. World Background: 3/5 I feel that there isn't enough background details about your world. It is nice, but I still feel things missing. You are going at a good pace, hopefully more details will added as you continue. Keep up the good work!

Taco rice? Sounds weird.

change the comma to colons

Good first chapter, the first paragraph was hookable; although, there are mistakes.

You don't have to capitalize after three dots; three dots are not the end of a sentence.

'so' was a unnecessary word. Just keep 'as she did'

When I see the name Frankenstein (felt like I needed to add that)

All I think of is the literature Frankenstein.

Why is it in another language? just wondering.