Matt_Nunes
Hi, I'm Mateus, I'm 20yo and I'm from Brazil, I love reading fantasy and decided to start creating my own stuff :)
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Matt_Nunes8mthCommentedCh 3 Waiting For Golden Finger- Matt_Nunes10mthCommented
I'm sorry but the English on this is horrendous. The writer can't choose between past and present tense at all. I'm pretty sure if he added some "could", "should" and "would" things would flow much better.
After I registered as an outer core disciple and lived here from then on and time slowly passed away and now I have turned 16 and my cultivation talent is worse, those guys who came at the same time as me are now inner disciples or true disciples. I curse that guy who killed me on my way home. - Matt_Nunes10mthCommented
that's the problem, you can't be reading xianxia novels and be a normal upstanding member of society, you gotta choose one.
While studying,he developed a passion for reading novels and made it a daily habit. Unfortunately, after graduation, he found himself struggling to find a job. - Matt_Nunes10mthCommentedWang Chen walked out of the building with a dejected look, feeling defeated and disheartened. "Another rejection," he thought to himself, 'I have so much talent and I work so hard, why won't anyone see it?' As he made his way down the street, he raised his head to the sky and asked, "Why is this happening to me, God? I've never done anything to offend you." Just as the words left his lips, the rain started to fall, as if God was answering his question. Wang Chen felt hopeless, with no job, no money, no car, no home, and no savings.
- Matt_Nunes10mthCommented
Dragon Country? 💀💀
Blue star, Dragon country - Matt_Nunes10mthCommented"Don't take it personally Sato darling, but this has to be done, you need to learn your place." Monobe yelled.
- Matt_Nunes10mthCommented
The introvert MC that has a pretty and popular girl friend for some reason is hated by the rest of the classroom? wow
While in thought, he stylishly used his eyes to scan the classroom and noticed that the whole class was giving him death stares. - Matt_Nunes1yrReplied to Matt_NunesCh 10 Chapter Ten: Library
- Matt_Nunes1yrCommented
So far this feels rushed as if this was the unfinished version of the story. It just glosses over way too much essential information, I know there are stories that tries to avoid info dumping, especially in the beginning, but the basics should be explained at least. For example, where is this academy? In the middle of nowhere? in a forest maybe? I don't remember reading anything about that
Ch 9 Chapter Nine: Access Cards - Matt_Nunes1yrCommented
First, let's talk about the development of this so-called "friendship", it feels unnatural to me that someone would willingly be friends with someone that threatened them not once but twice, there should be at least a chapter talking about this bonding between them, if not, this change feels too forced and quick. Now let's address the elephant in the room, the writing, it's ... a little bit odd, I hope it gets better.
Ch 8 Chapter Eight: Mage Academy - Matt_Nunes1yrCommented
Now author please explain to me why the fudge all of this happened. The MC literally stole and ran away from his father that took care of him for 16 years and was trying to help him with training and finding a way to fix his problem, neither the wizard nor the disciples acted poorly to him so far, if you just leave this as it is, it's bad writing, plain and simple. Maybe he was mistreated and bullied? Maybe he's a villain ish MC? You should develop on that before doing this so it doesn't feel as rushed. I hope something wrong happens and he learns that his father was just trying to help him or smth, that type of character development.
Ch 7 Chapter Seven: Consider it done - Matt_Nunes1yrCommentedCh 6 Chapter Six: New Skill
- Matt_Nunes1yrCommentedCh 9 Chapter 9- Letting It All Out(Edited)
- Matt_Nunes1yrCommentedCh 2 Chapter 2: Recreating Myself [Part 1]
- Matt_Nunes1yrCommented
So... I'm stopping right here. The story isn't bad per see, it's on the beginning still and there's potential to this. The characters are not bad, the writing is pretty good and the fight was really well-written, the flow is ok, etc. My problem is with the MC, I don't know if the author is going for an overbearing type of guy or just plain cold and calculating and I have no problems with characters like that, it's just that so far, the MC feels way too artificial, he doesn't feel "human" so you don't care about him at all and reading a novel where you are not attached to the main character is usually a waste of time so I'm stopping here. 5/10.
Ch 10 Chapter 10: Brewing Troubles around the Hall Mansion - Matt_Nunes1yrCommentedCh 7 Chapter 7: The Many Talents of the Strongest Man (2)