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From the first glance, it's very good. But the author romanticizes the dark side of shinobi life, leaving no place for normalcy, only missions and control. The added elements suck af too.
-"Madara", I'm the akatsuki leader! - Nagato, you will regret this!
The fanfic is quite enjoyable. It's not as funny as people say it is. .
No, if you are too powerful you simple won't be turned, but each additional devil piece gives you potential. Also you can only use a specific type + king piece if you are a pawn, other pieces are simply not compatible.
Actually "lord of shadows" story is lame af, and it lowers the rating for this ff.
There's no way a random ninja could be aware of what senjutsu chakra is, let alone detect it.
"it's bad"
I'm saying, you are overestimating your own worth, 20 chapters is nothing. The readers will be reluctant to subscribe. The total amount of money you could potentially earn will be less. Plan ahead, do you want a 1 time sale for measly 20 chapters or monthly subscription with loyal fans?
Noir side quests story is annoying as fuck, not to mention he is not noir anymore
You are charging the price of a book, think about that. It's not even finished.