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Serial_seresposa

Serial_seresposa

Lv2

鈾retty Little League.馃寴 鈾retty Girl League馃寫 鈾retty Big League馃寲

2020-09-01 JoinedSouth Africa
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Writing

67.5h

of reading

42

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9

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46
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1mth
    Replied to stella_7097

    You are welcome!

    Ch 1 Chapter One: The Battle In Which She Dances
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa4mth
    Replied to Shyla_Knighton

    馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀

    Where on earth was she? She couldn't piece together what had happened and her brain seemed frizzled as though tampered with and she didn't know what to assume or think of. She felt petrified and wanted to cry out. She wondered where James was and why she felt as though she was far away from home.
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa9mth
    Replied to Moonnh

    hahaha

    A note was on the floor instead and I slowly bent down, keeping my eyes around as I picked it up and came up with it. opening the note, the color in my skin drained as I read the note.
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa9mth
    Replied to Daoist5vBmcj

    you want a family tree?

    Disclaimer: Alright everyone, keep up, we're going to be switching POV's a lot for the next three chapters.
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa10mth
    Replied to Kelly_Goodwin

    don't fall!

    Ch 254 Chapter Two: Hundred: Fifty: 聽Heir
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa10mth
    Commented

    you never know. just hold on just a bit longer.

    Ch 253 Chapter Two: Hundred: Forty & Nine: Alliance Shred To Love
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    okay firstly is it weird that I'm in love with the bad boy or is it just my tendency to be toxic? but anyway advise to you author, watch ur word structure here and there but other than that. I love it a part of me is like I need to come back and sink myself into ur work again because wow I'm more than content

    Ch 6 Chapter 6
    altalt
    Butterflies and Pins
    Historical RomanceRaksha1
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    "This" not "that" be careful of your word structure

    To anybody else, that would have been just another beautiful summer day. The sky was bright blue and clear, the sun was shining warmly, and a gentle wind swept through the trees, making the leaves sing their harmonious song.
    altalt
    Butterflies and Pins
    Historical RomanceRaksha1
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Replied to Raksha1

    as for rolling sweets

    altalt
    Chasing The Golden Angel
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Posted

    I Don't know if it's just me or not but my mind played your book as a 60's movie. Black and white, suit with those stylish hats and stuff but hehe maybe it's just me. Anyway, I loved it honestly, I couldn't stop reading it. one issue other than that it was really good, didn't like the fact that there weren't more chapters. But I enjoyed it, storyline carries on gently but it's still too short. But I'm looking forward to more.

    altalt
    GHOST DETECTIVE: Li Xiajun
    FantasySuoshi
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    Too not two.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    GHOST DETECTIVE: Li Xiajun
    FantasySuoshi
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    firstly, I love the cover I had to say this but yes lemme read!

    Ch 1 Li XiaJun
    altalt
    GHOST DETECTIVE: Li Xiajun
    FantasySuoshi
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    Okay! I struggled to find a way to leave a review. I apologize so ill have to settle for a review. The story is good but I got lost and confused at certain points. One thing about readers too much information makes them lose their attraction to the book. There's a common saying, "Show, don't tell." you need to be able to show the readers not just tell them. They'll become restless and stop reading. I zoned out for a bit when I continued reading then had to stop my music and get back into it. It's good stuff but don't make it easy for us to be easily distracted.

    Ch 12 Beast types
    altalt
    Master of Voracious Beasts
    FantasyBad_Totodile
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Posted

    So, I enjoyed the way you introduced the world. I kinda felt like I was on a rocketship, overlooking the different worlds. In a way it was really cool I felt like a kid for a second but then another part of me got lost at certain places. I'm used to the cry of pain being 'Ah!' not 'Ha!' that confused me for a second. Then I saw you made a happy sound 'Ah!'... as I said that confused me. Then I noticed an error in continent and that's fine as it easily can be fixed. Then I wanted the story to go and not drag on but overall it's a good story. Looking forward to more.

    altalt
    Human Binary: The Unrivalled King of Technology
    Sci-fi_Evergreen
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    much love

    Ch 8 Chapter Eight: Past: Surprise Threesome
    altalt
    Her Minds Instinct
    Contemporary RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    This is good, your very descriptive but be careful of the structure. There are things that kinda confuse me but keeps the words keep me going.

    Ch 3 Who's That Girl
    altalt
    Love Is Just Impossible For This Goddess Of Hell
    Contemporary RomanceChenguang_Jinjing
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Replied to N_Stephanie_Santos

    book isn't contracted yet love.

    Ch 22 Chapter Twenty-Two: Blind Sighted
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Commented

    I see something big coming and I don't know weather to get my shield or not.

    Ch 1 What bull-feces is this reward?!
    altalt
    The midnight musician
    Eastern Fantasycherlyswan
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Replied to cherlyswan

    馃槀馃槀 why you gotta do that馃槀

    Tell me I'm a fool."
    altalt
    Loving The Forbidden
    Fantasy RomanceSerial_seresposa
    detail
  • Serial_seresposa
    Serial_seresposa1yr
    Posted

    It's been a while since I read something original. You kept it simple and brought back the love of reading the typical books that made a girl excited and hopeful The only words of advice I have. Is if your gonna flashback and forth use your italics it helps give emphasis. Watch your spelling I noticed a lot of errors. Use Grammarly but also make sure to reread. Your transition is good. You've paced the book well. On some parts give a bit more detail other than that awesome

    altalt
    Cloven(Broken)
    Teenoyslyness
    detail