Sen_Yoshioka
Ello, I'm Sen/E.A.M. I'm a developing writer and I hope you like my stories! Dm me if you want a review on your story. <3 My Instagram: dirtysparkles72 Wattpad: EclipseLovers
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blissfully
Pronounced.
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The story so far is good, but I saw a lot of misspelled words, run on sentences, and paragraphs that are split in two and many sentences that should have been paragraphs. There's very little detail in the story too, which it's kind of hard to visualize what's going on and where the characters are.
So far the story is excellent, but I've seen several typos, grammar errors, run in sentences, and paragraphs that should have been either put together but was split in two. Other than that, I love it. Ren reminds me just a little bit like Kagome from Inuyasha. Please excuse the previous comments you received from me a year ago. :) My love to you from me.
It's a nice story, the beginning is engaging, but I saw some punctuations in the first chapter. I noticed a sentence split into two. The sixteenth line should be something like; "After shutting the window and pulling up the curtains, she then cleaned the floor" Or you can leave the "then" out, whichever sounds better to you. After writing that, you can write in what she's cleaning with or you can say "After shutting the window and pulling the curtains closed, she whipped up the rain water that managed to get inside." Something like that. Remember to not put "And" at the beginning of a sentence or a paragraph.