Hi! I'm a 24-year-old reader who's just began her journey as a writer. I'm also a feminist and a daydreamer. Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/bornthisway2012
I love how exciting this story is. The characters are so lively and interesting. I really like how the story develops and how the dynamic of the characters are still so remarkable even as the drama kicks in. Looking forward to knowing how the story continues!
Thank you so much for all of your comments! I'm taking everything into account as I slowly edit. So glad you liked it!
I really love how unexpected was this story. It was really easy for me to sink into the story and to enjoy it tremendously. Great descriptions and great character' developments. I'll definitely continue reading!
What I loved the most about this story is how easy it is to be in tune with what the characters are feeling. Not only was I able to understand them but also, I got really invested with them. I think that speaks really positively about the way you built this character and also, the way you describe the story. Half the time I could imagine the scene perfectly. Such an amazing work. Continue!
This is such a rollercoaster of emotions that, as a reader, I couldn't help but be completely immersed in this novel. While I do think there's room for improvement in the description between the dialogue lines (in order to make the story flow better), I'd say you nailed the emotions of the characters. It was amazing going on that journey with Xavier and reading as so much bad stuff happened to him. I loved this story and I can't wait to read the next chapter! Good luck with this!
Hi there! thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I'll make sure to take this into account for when I edit the first chapters. Cheers for reading!
Hey there! Thank you so much for your comments, I appreciate them so much! What you say about the death of Adira's father is something I really do agree with. I think I downplayed it at first because the way they see it, death isn't something to be mourned but instead, the beginning of a new adventure. Still, the moment I go back to the first chapters I want to the emotions of the characters to be more obvious in the history. Also, thanks for pointing out what you said about the fact of Adira being Queen! The way I imagined this, I guess Mirro and the other lords had the hopes that Adira would marry or that her father would choose another heir since the tradition of only male heirs runs so deep. I'll make sure to change that too. Thank you so much for reading!!
This is such a creative story. I really loved how I just could feel the effort you put in describing this world, the different characters and their interactions. Plus, the cultures! It was so beautiful how you used so many of them, making your story completely colorful and interesting. I'll definitely keep reading. Amazing job and good luck!
What I love about this story is that, though slightly too wordy at times, the descriptions were proficient and they really made me travel to the world of the story. The emotions of the characters are depicted perfectly and, overall, I can't wait for this to continue. Excellent job!
While I don't usually read this sort of stories, I think you did an excellent job at keeping it exciting and dramatic, which I think is the key. The pacing might be a little bit rushed at times but I think it really works in order to keep the suspense and shock in the reader. Overall, I think this story is very interesting and I'm looking forward for the next chapter! Amazing job!
So, what truly stood out to me is your ability to describe your character's emotions. A few times, I actually felt what they were feeling and I could actually see the situation play before my eyes. Also, your description is outstanding and I like how you not only describe their surroundings, but also how your characters interact with it as the story progresses. The storyline is really interesting and I can't wait to know what happens next. Amazing!