You leaned a bit heavy on exposition in some parts. some dialogue felt natural, dialogue tags included. You don't need to reiterate how shocked he is. Pain a picture of the atmosphere with imagery. Granted, I liked how mysterious it felt.

The dialogue was real fun to read! I always love a good back and forth! What was done to Crulox was cold-blooded! That scene was pretty well done, but there is something that I've noticed in terms of depth of given descriptions. Some were great, some were kind of made it redundant. For instance, a scene where Filovis is turning to the gates, it was noted again when he called them out. I feel that the reader would be able to imply that he never turned away from the gate. It pulls me out a bit on that one. Another involved Vicadum. Vicadum takes notice and puffs his chest, this moment is filling with confidence. Implying the prior string of sentences, one should be able to surmise Vicadum acknowledged Crassitus, so what could've been written was: Vicadum puffed his chest defiantly, feeling as though he could take on the world. It's straight to the point while still giving it flavor. Much of the descriptors could follow a smilar pattern while still maintaining your flair. Wordiness can certainly take someone out of the experience. Its not about how much you could describe, its about how you execute it! ^^

First off, Armasitis is a jerk! xD I feel like the moment between Vivadum and Nephaeros was written a bit chaotically. It was hard to follow but I understood it. Wow, and the scenes with Nephaeros were a rough read overall (Emotionally speaking) Hopefully, you can address the tenses sooner because I think that's the only thing that holds it back from being a smoother read. The grammar is a little better than the previous chapters also. Don't be afraid to simplify some scenes as well. It's not too wordy, but some (very few parts) were. Otherwise, I enjoyed the read quite much! Can't wait to read the rest!

Vicadum went through a lot this chapter. It was a nice set up too. The introduction with the girl was amusing too.! It was an overall good read! My only complaint is the tenses, it's used in present tense when it should be in past tense. (i.e. asked as opposed to asks) Keep it up! ^^

pretty good chapter, but usual problems stand.

The pacing to the chapter was great. The characters were presented well also. But it got a little muddled while transitioning from finding Diagis to Diagis fighting the cythril. It would be better to put that scene before his D'tera discovering him. It comes off a bit confusing since you reiterate it in a way. The usual suspects in other issues stand, mainly the usage of tenses and the overall wordiness of many descriptions. Otherwise, I enjoyed it. ^^

Some grammar issues aside, this was a pretty good read. You have a certain prose that like in your writing.