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Onwer

Onwer

Lv1

Looking onward

2020-08-22 JoinedGlobal
1.4h

of reading

10

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11
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Posted

    Alrighty! I can see that you are new to writing. Your concept is interesting, and what I liked more was how you're focussing on giving the enemy a background as well. It helps in creating insight. If I may be so bold, I'd like to suggest that you replace dialogues with descriptions about character's response and emotions. Try to keep dialogues to a bare minimum so that you can create an impact when humour is what you want to display. And don't you worry about writing, you'll get better over time. P.S. I gave it a read this morning but I wasn't logged in. Just mentioned it if my name doesn't show up in your reads.

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    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Replied to IlluminaNight

    Thank you so much! :D

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    REVENGE (Link Series)
    Fantasy Romance · Onwer
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Replied to Shionokami

    Wow, your comment made my day! Thank you!

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    REVENGE (Link Series)
    Fantasy Romance · Onwer
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Replied to SnowPenguin

    I'm glad you liked the cover :D

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    REVENGE (Link Series)
    Fantasy Romance · Onwer
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Replied to spicyscribbles

    Thank you very much!

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    REVENGE (Link Series)
    Fantasy Romance · Onwer
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Replied to Onwer

    You're welcome!

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    Unpublished-ToaPP
    Fantasy Romance · spicyscribbles
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Posted

    I really liked how you're pacing the story. Not too slow, not too fast. The concept of helping out your own character is interesting. Keep up with the good work!

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    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern Fantasy · SnowPenguin
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Posted

    This story is so wholesome! Not only is your writing superb, you also have a wonderful sense of humour! I loved it. Adding it to my library.

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    Unpublished-ToaPP
    Fantasy Romance · spicyscribbles
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Commented

    Hahahaha

    This chapter has been deleted.
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    Unpublished-ToaPP
    Fantasy Romance · spicyscribbles
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Commented

    A pirate needs a talking bird, after all!

    This chapter has been deleted.
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    Unpublished-ToaPP
    Fantasy Romance · spicyscribbles
    detail
  • Onwer
    Onwer4mth
    Replied to 2508

    Bags saved!

    "I fell down a hole, haha." Kelly looked a bit embarrassed but she laughed it off - well, it was pretty funny.
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    Hellbound With You
    Fantasy Romance · KazzenlX
    detail