mur842
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So far, I have a positive impression of the work, but let me give you some advice. It will be good if you give a plausible explanation why the Demon Lord does not want demons to walk on the earth. The first, not everyone has read your other work, and the second, this will greatly help in the development of the plot logic. Because some demons look like pacifist warriors or bees fighting honey.
This is not so much a braindead or dumb hero, but too naive. I think the main problem that mc is is like a hostage of "circumstances". In the begining, the hero did something, now he is only reacts, and does not act. Even when "playing" with partners, he gives the initiative. It's not bad in itself, but too ordinary life. "You are a hero not because you have strength, but because you make decisions and take responsibility."
After "finish him", i got the some kind of deja vu. It's th like Mortal Kombat phrase. About plot, i think author gave to many girls to mc from the start and relationships between them couldn't develop the same speed as reader expect to be. So we had a feeling that mc is too slow.
Let's be honest, this story doesn't have any mind-blowing plot twist, but... hey, does anybody remember the title of this novel? Like, we've read about some epic exp grind... both aspects of it (you know what I mean ;). Any new skills for mc, some progress, etc?
Too many demon hunters in this town. I mean, how many DH for 100k citizens? If they're people then shall be money in their pockets. They have equipment, costs and etc. And yes, by now all DH are young and pretty people. Are they hiring them in model agencies?
Nice chapter, but two drinks is a little bit strange. He is in demon form so he must have better alcohol tolerance. And more of that his race and body weight are the main thing. Historically north people drunk a lot of strong alcohol, they've developed tolerance, and build a culture of drinking, when you drink to taste some flavour, relax, let yourself lose control and feel freedom. Drinking as competition is so useless, in the end you'll find yourself drunk as f*ck with no pleasure, feeling like a sh*ty sh*t next morning. Don't do that. Drink for your own pleasure not to prove something.
For some reason I have a feeling that without some kind of doppelganger our mc'll have 24/7 busy schedule. Even with all that power, it's too troublesome to meet all his partners one by one. Yeah mia, pearl and diamond are formed in one squad, but Olivia + her mother + Emma + sister + foxy... and will be more. See it's hard just to remember all the names, not saying about plot twists. That's dilemma.
Imagine. Hey, sis, I've found a pet on my way home. Her name is Foxy and she's going to live with us for some time. Yeah, yeah, I'll feed, clean, play with her. No worries. Almost no loud noises, just some screaming and moans, when I'll be playing with her. By the way what do you think about girls with animals ears, tails?