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ags2020b

ags2020b

Lv3

My stories were not personal experiences but rather a result of a creative process. I want to be mysterious as possible. That is the goal.

2020-08-07 JoinedPhilippines
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Writing

10.5h

of reading

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18
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b2yr
    Replied to Chan_Joe

    Any link of the website?

    altalt
    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Thanks for the heads up. just load it in grammarly and found 79 errors and made changes. The story though has its reasons. Thanks for reading.

    Ch 3 The Dreams of Colonel Lance Riva
    altalt
    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Posted

    The historical description is well researched, even the weather, or book authors cited with lists. This may be off putting to some considering that most reader want the first three chapters as engaging as possible. But this maybe the author's narrative style, even the use of words, and flow of sentences. But as you go along, the conflict is slowly revealed from among the characters, with lots of dialogue and this may be intentional to keep reader glued. Nice book. Keep it up!

    altalt
    Born Again
    Fantasy · RenuKakkar
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Some reader would truly appreciate the historical facts...I guess a lot more would want Tania's story rather than historical facts. But I guess it is just your style.

    Ch 3 The Relatives Will Meet Soon
    altalt
    Born Again
    Fantasy · RenuKakkar
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    interesting historical facts

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Born Again
    Fantasy · RenuKakkar
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Detailed history.

    Ch 1 Tania Gagarin Sharma-Introduction
    altalt
    Born Again
    Fantasy · RenuKakkar
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    An is repetitive....An only child of her parents.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Born Again
    Fantasy · RenuKakkar
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Posted

    This is about a novel within a novel which makes me think maybe the inside novel being referred to is not "shitty" as the narrator suggests but more exciting in my opinion because why would the author tell it? and tell in his POV. Anyways, each writer has his own style, originality, point of view and this novel has lots of check points on that. But this has gained a lot of hits and more popular that I thought. Go ahead this is a good premise and would attract fans of this genre. I am more into dialogue intensive novels but you will certainly gain a lot of fans from this game world system genre as this is the current trend. Thanks and have fun!

    altalt
    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern · SnowPenguin
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    try inserting.....who this woman might be -- its kind of complicated--

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    in is bed to...in his bed...

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    try removing "it started" ....with the waking up of Kukorami Tatsurou.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Too many commas in above parapgraph and the sentences in most paragraph does not end. You might have overlooked this.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    i remember the guide on writing says...."Telling in a long paragraph with few dialogue ...theres always that danger of losing the readers attention. " But the making of a great concept is there. Lets see more....

    Ch 7 A Clear View
    altalt
    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern · SnowPenguin
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Good so far. theres a repeat words "define".

    Ch 2 Waking Up to the First Day of Work
    altalt
    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern · SnowPenguin
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    40k words and counting.

    Ch 29 Intersection
    altalt
    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Hope you like this episode. Please add a review and add this to your collection. I worked really hard to come up with a great story. Good day!

    Ch 28 The Purified Ether
    altalt
    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Commented

    Getting hot and getting intricate. The purpose is just to mindf_ck the reader. Wait till it unfold itself. Good day!

    Ch 24 The Impostor
    altalt
    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
    detail
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3yr
    Posted

    Thank you for the reviews. This work is a labor of love and you are most welcome to add your own review. The stories here are purely original, crime, scifi, thriller with a twist on the supernatural borne out of frustrations and lack of diversity in writing platforms. Sorry, I dont copy other works although I am inspired by creative movie directors and their film masterworks. My self review of my work is to encourage others to dive in and see what you learn from the experience in reading this book. Thank you and god bless!

    altalt
    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
    detail