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ags2020b

ags2020b

Lv3

My stories were not personal experiences but rather a result of a creative process. I want to be mysterious as possible. That is the goal.

2020-08-07 JoinedPhilippines
14d

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18
  • ags2020b
    ags2020b14d
    Commented

    Thanks for the heads up. just load it in grammarly and found 79 errors and made changes. The story though has its reasons. Thanks for reading.

    Ch 3 The Dreams of Colonel Lance Riva
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    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Posted

    The historical description is well researched, even the weather, or book authors cited with lists. This may be off putting to some considering that most reader want the first three chapters as engaging as possible. But this maybe the author's narrative style, even the use of words, and flow of sentences. But as you go along, the conflict is slowly revealed from among the characters, with lots of dialogue and this may be intentional to keep reader glued. Nice book. Keep it up!

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    Born Again
    Fantasy Romance · RenuKakkar
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    Some reader would truly appreciate the historical facts...I guess a lot more would want Tania's story rather than historical facts. But I guess it is just your style.

    Ch 3 The Relatives Will Meet Soon
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    Born Again
    Fantasy Romance · RenuKakkar
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    interesting historical facts

    They paternal grandparents would need a visa and to book a flight to Moscow from New Delhi, the capital of India. They hailed from Dharmshala, a small town in the mountain state of Himachal Pradesh which had become famous as a tourist attraction due to the presence of the Dalai Lama who had fled Tibet in 1959 and sought asylum in India. The Indian Government at that time had allocated upper Dharmshala called Maclord Gang area for him and his followers to settled down. After the Dalai Lama got the noble prize for peace in 1989, this area became even more famous. Since then many foreigners have been visiting Dharmshala regularly to meet him. They also come as tourists and some come to get treatment in the Tibetan system of healing.
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    Born Again
    Fantasy Romance · RenuKakkar
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    Detailed history.

    Ch 1 Tania Gagarin Sharma-Introduction
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    Born Again
    Fantasy Romance · RenuKakkar
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    An is repetitive....An only child of her parents.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Born Again
    Fantasy Romance · RenuKakkar
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Posted

    This is about a novel within a novel which makes me think maybe the inside novel being referred to is not "shitty" as the narrator suggests but more exciting in my opinion because why would the author tell it? and tell in his POV. Anyways, each writer has his own style, originality, point of view and this novel has lots of check points on that. But this has gained a lot of hits and more popular that I thought. Go ahead this is a good premise and would attract fans of this genre. I am more into dialogue intensive novels but you will certainly gain a lot of fans from this game world system genre as this is the current trend. Thanks and have fun!

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    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern Fantasy · SnowPenguin
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    try inserting.....who this woman might be -- its kind of complicated--

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    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    in is bed to...in his bed...

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    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    try removing "it started" ....with the waking up of Kukorami Tatsurou.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    Too many commas in above parapgraph and the sentences in most paragraph does not end. You might have overlooked this.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Endbringer
    Fantasy · Shionokami
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    i remember the guide on writing says...."Telling in a long paragraph with few dialogue ...theres always that danger of losing the readers attention. " But the making of a great concept is there. Lets see more....

    Ch 7 A Clear View
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    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern Fantasy · SnowPenguin
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Commented

    Good so far. theres a repeat words "define".

    Ch 2 Waking Up to the First Day of Work
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    The Face Behind the System
    Eastern Fantasy · SnowPenguin
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b3mth
    Posted

    The opening story was strong and the first few paragraphs were written with great thoughts to get the reader attention. The style is there and the way the story was told from human to vampire and then later as a wanderer is engaging. Reminds me of twilight. Vampire, werewolves and zombies were potent mix for good stories.

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    Pandora's Curse: Key To Immortality
    Fantasy Romance · SleepyKola
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b4mth
    Commented

    40k words and counting.

    Ch 29 Intersection
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    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b4mth
    Commented

    Hope you like this episode. Please add a review and add this to your collection. I worked really hard to come up with a great story. Good day!

    Ch 28 The Purified Ether
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    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b4mth
    Commented

    Getting hot and getting intricate. The purpose is just to mindf_ck the reader. Wait till it unfold itself. Good day!

    Ch 24 The Impostor
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    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
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  • ags2020b
    ags2020b4mth
    Posted

    Thank you for the reviews. This work is a labor of love and you are most welcome to add your own review. The stories here are purely original, crime, scifi, thriller with a twist on the supernatural borne out of frustrations and lack of diversity in writing platforms. Sorry, I dont copy other works although I am inspired by creative movie directors and their film masterworks. My self review of my work is to encourage others to dive in and see what you learn from the experience in reading this book. Thank you and god bless!

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    Run on Shadow's Edge
    Sci-fi · ags2020b
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