Hello! Call me Jewel! I'm a girl who loves writing stories, and I also like writing fanfiction! You can also find me on Fanfiction.Net, DeviantArt and Wattpad, all under AnimeJewel246!
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Just imagine how that conversation's going to go. Naruto literally asking Kakashi straight up in the middle of dinner why a girl is red.
One of the main issues with Sakura though is that she was entirely useless throughout. People keep arguing about how she did end up stronger, but strength means nothing. Look at Winry Rockbell from Fullmetal Alchemist. She was useful in plot development, and character development, despite not being a fighting character. Sakura, however, is a fighting character-and has been one since the very start. I guess Winry isn't really much of a fair comparison, but yeah.
You know, it's probably better if you try and show something like this, rather than telling. A lot of the story seems to be telling, and that's absolutely okay! I just think that you should try and show us his talent and strength, rather than having someone directly state it.
Well, I suppose that is true. So, mainly overusing miracles are a big problem in stories now. Miracles are enjoyable, but at some point it does start to become plot armor. This tends to get overused a LOT in fanfiction or ******* stories.
In hindsight, it probably would have been a better idea to have put my review using the ACTUAL review feature instead of using my synopsis...but yeah... So, from the author herself, I'm just going to clarify that this is not my best work. It' mostly just for some childish comedy and slightly makes fun of all those "characters fall into real world" or "person falls into anime world" cliched stories. (If you actually read this story all the way through, you will probably notice the common cliche that I used here.) I think my rating might be me trying to cut myself some slack, but I did try my best at writing a parody on nothing but caffeine at three in the morning. So...here we go: Updates: I updated all this crap in one go, so I will give myself a FIVE. For any other story, I will give myself a three, maybe two, though for those stories, they at least have some quality content. Writing Quality: Eh...a THREE? Is that too much? I mean, the story isn't meant to be taken seriously anyway, so the quality is half-decent. Though, I will warn that the second half of the story might feel a bit rushed. Story Development: Like I said...the second half seems rushed, and it's only around this time when the plot develops thoroughly, so I gave this one a TWO. In the first chapter, I would say I did a better job, but after that, it...yeah, it's just rushed. Character design: ...I dunno, a TWO as well? I mean, I was actually pretty proud of how I made my original characters and characterized other characters, but one big problem(for newbie writers, please read this-don't make the same mistake I did!) is that all my characters had somewhat of the same voice. I think it was because I was trying to take my comedy a bit too far, which led to all the characters being out of character, and have similar personalities. I probably should have thought about that at the time, but again: please, new authors, don't do something stupid like writing a story on coffee. PLEASE. World background: Um...a THREE, I guess. It made it easier when using a real life place like Japan, and though it was fun to add new ideas into the setting, you might notice that one plot device is never explained. Maybe one day, I might add an Epilogue talking about those unexplained subplots, but I don't know. Though, if I do end up doing that, you might notice how different the quality will be... So...yeah. Shameless author review with cutting myself some surprising amount of slack. Though, if anyone would like to read this to give me some MORE advice, then go for it! Just don't waste your stones on this, I have a WAY BETTER story(*wink*shameless advertising*wink*) that needs some votes. ~Jewel